Duality: Either/Or vs. The Spectrum

Posted on January 2, 2013 by Chris

WARNING: This post will take you down a very deep rabbit hole if you let it…good luck.

The duality of everything is going to drive me insane, I think. I yearn for independence and yet need thousands around me to survive. I want eternal happiness, yet feel down or depressed for no reason. I strive to be a man of virtue, yet notice some of my actions are inconsistent with right versus wrong.

I’ve really been noticing the contradiction all around me. It really is everywhere. It is everywhere and unavoidable. AND, like I said, my noticing it lately has been driving me crazy. It is like watching an existential tennis match, when you hate tennis!

happy/sad
life/death
practical/idealistic
sleep/awake
materialistic/spiritual
money is everything/money is nothing
individuality/non-self
meaning/emptiness
purpose/futility
good/evil
knowledge/ignorance

I think the insanity begins when you start thinking of all these “opposites” as distinct either/or poles. Either life has purpose or it is futile, either I am happy or I am sad, etc. As soon as you start noticing these things, they pop up all around you, they come at you from everywhere…like that tennis match, or maybe it’s like two opposing walls closing inward on you with ever greater compression (think of the Star Wars trash compactor scene). My personal frustration begins when I try to figure it out. What does it all mean? Is their purpose in life or is it futile? Are we inherently evil or good? Should I reach out to change my world or recede into myself? Should I be happy with what I have, or should I strive for more?

So, this is where I try to break the paradigm, changing that either/or view to one of seeing suchness, one that sees that there is no either/or. What is the answer to those questions I posed above? When I reflect, meditate and breathe, I see the answer is yes and no, all at once. It might be helpful to combine the answer to “yes&no.” Is life meaningless? yes&no. Does life have purpose? yes&no. Should I strive to attain more wealth, or should I be happy with what I have? yes&no. A “Yes&No” view acknowledges that there is a spectrum of non-answers rather than either/or. It also acknowledges that I may be wrong about my own view, that clinging to an answer I KNOW is true, may not be correct. This view is something you can study about, but it must be experienced to truly attain it.

Are there absolutes or not? We want there to be, don’t we? We are comfortable when we cling to our “answers.” From a practical standpoint, we decide yes or no all the time. Should I steal this candy bar? No. Is that the right thing to do? Yes. However, when it comes to our place in all of existence, these answers are approximations for truth. What if we ask even more questions about our candy bar problem? Who is selling the candy bar? What are they doing with the profits? What is in the candy bar? Is it hurting people? Isn’t that their choice? Is my neighbor starving? Am I starving?

My point here is not to convince myself that stealing a candy bar might be the right thing to do (although, I suppose given the right conditions, it might). My point is to illustrate that even with the simplest of either/or questions, there is a spectrum that goes unnoticed by us. We create the either/or world to try and simplify our existence, but it is not reality. If too much of this reality seeps through into our view without the right context, it can drive us mad.

That may very well be where the Buddhist concept of right view comes in. To see reality and thrive, we must have context; a large sea of understanding that helps us see where we fit. When I have a right view, I can see that there is a Middle Way. I know that there are guides to right and wrong, but I understand that these guides are dependent on context, and that all of existence is very complicated.

If I point to the grain of sand, I would be both right and wrong.

If I try to point to the grain of sand, I would be both right and wrong.

What I think I am trying to emphasize is that our understanding is almost always incomplete. The appearance of opposites is an illusion. We must always (yes, I said always) make our decisions with incomplete information. We do not know everything about anything, and we know very little about most things. So, when we make our life decisions we can take heart in the fact that we are doing the best we can with the given information. It seems that it is best when we avoid the opposite poles and favor the middle way.

…and hopefully avoid insanity.

“…what makes [the noble truths] noble truths is precisely that they are actual, undeviating, invariable (tatha, avitatha, anannatha). It is the failure to face the actuality of these truths that has caused us to wander for so long through the long course of samsara. It is by penetrating these truths exactly as they are that one can reach the true consummation of the spiritual quest: making an end to suffering.”

Taken from “Dhamma and Non-duality”, by Bhikkhu Bodhi. Access to Insight, 4 April 2011, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bodhi/bps-essay_27.html . Retrieved on 2 January 2013.

Seneca’s God (Vis-à-vis Plato)

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Chris

Thus far, I have written quite a bit about how we can be happy by understanding the nature of reality around us. Understanding is very important for our happiness, but isn’t it only the beginning? To understand is to survive, but what makes us thrive? What inspires us and leads us to our greatest happiness? What is the meaning of all this?

I struggle with this question often. Some days (or even moments), I find myself duty-bound to all of humanity. Other times (yes, it could even be in the next moment), it seems that the greatest good is to “first, do no harm.” In other words, if I mind my own business, and take care of myself while burdening the fewest number, then I am living the virtuous life. Often, the good seems to be in being present for and helpful to those closest to us; to really be present and aware is what brings true happiness.

This meaning of life, this purpose seems to transcend from some universal order, some predetermined destiny of how existence should be, and whether or not we are living according to this plan. At this point, it seems, is where the question of God comes in. Seneca proposed that God is, in essence, the first cause. That which drives all creativity, including our own.

Why am I here?

However, this “first cause” description requires a little background. You may already know that much of Seneca’s thought has been gleaned from his letters to his friend Lucilius. In what is referred to as his 65th letter, he expounds upon the meaning of life to his friend. According to Seneca’s recall of Plato, there are five causes: matter (wood, bronze, rocks..the stuff), the agent (God), the form (the ways in which matter is combined to make up our reality), the model (the pattern upon which something is created), and the end view or purpose. So, God uses a model to put the matter together to form it toward the end goal. For all that we do, we follow this same series of causes. When we start a project, build a life, or endeavor on a journey, we do so using these five. Not a bad way to look at things in my opinion. It’s a good way to organize a complex reality. There certainly can be others, but let’s stick with this one.

As I mentioned earlier, the first cause is the agent. According to Seneca, this is God. It is also our own reason, which is derived from God. In fact, reason and God are one and the same. In this 65th letter to his friend Lucilius, Seneca proposes that the first cause is “surely Creative Reason- in other words, God. For those elements to which you referred are not a great series of independent causes; they all hinge on one alone, and that will be the creative cause. ”

So, it seems that Seneca places the highest importance on our creative reason as if it were godly. However, he admits that he is unsure of this to his friend. After coming to this conclusion he asks his friend Lucilius for help in the matter: “Either give your opinion, or, as is easier in cases of this kind, declare that the matter is not clear and call for another hearing.”

What is clear is that Seneca thought these existential questions to be extremely important to our happiness: “And that which creates, in other words, God, is more powerful and precious than matter, which is acted upon by God. God’s place in the universe corresponds to the soul’s relation to man. World-matter corresponds to our mortal body; therefore let the lower serve the higher.”

I tend to think that our ability to reason, and more precisely our ability to conceive our purpose in the universe is a divine gift. The fundamental question that remains is what are we to do with our life? This question has, in my opinion, already been answered: we must pursue virtue. But now, as Pandora’s box has been opened, some trickier questions remain:

What is virtuous?
How do we pursue it?

Pandora’s Box. Much worse than a can of worms.

Fortunately for my blogging career, all of our human reason hasn’t quite answered these questions, yet. Looks like I’ll have enough material to keep me busy. Of course, I haven’t really solved much for myself or anyone else today, have I?

Merry Christmas…Stoic Style

Posted on December 21, 2012 by Chris

If life were a race around a track, Christmas seems to be when I get my split time. Like in a NASCAR race, I find that Christmas is my time to check where I stand in my life. It is when I pass the pole. If life is a series of fence posts that I pass on my journey, then Christmas is that familiar landmark, that pink and purple mailbox that I pass that awakens me to the fact that I have made progress…at least progress toward something.

Santa making Stoic progress.

More than any other time, more than my birthday, more than New Year’s day, more than any other day, Christmas time turns me toward reflection. All of my living loved ones either are with me, or communicate with me. All of those I have lost, come back to me in my memories as well. I see all of the change in everyone’s families in their Christmas cards. I pause to see my children celebrate again, but they are all one year older.

“…nights growing colder
Children growing up, old friends growing older
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away…
The innocence slips away” –Neil Peart (from the song “Time Stands Still” lyricis for the rock band Rush) See it and hear it, here.

A time for reflection. (photo: Wong Mei Teng)

I observe myself as well. I can remember my attitude about the Holiday throughout the years, and how it has changed. I observe how I fit into the grand scheme of others’ lives. It’s always a little different every year. Former close friends are more distant, new friends are closer, relationships are rekindled from the past as well.

As Marcus Aurelius reflects in his Meditations: “Is any man afraid of change? Why what can take place without change? What then is more pleasing or more suitable to the universal nature? And canst thou take a bath unless the wood undergoes a change? And canst thou be nourished, unless the food undergoes a change? And can anything else that is useful be accomplished without change? Dost thou not see then that for thyself also to change is just the same, and equally necessary for the universal nature?”

Christmas is a time when I slow down. It is an excellent opportunity to dwell in the present moment, but also one to observe that time marches on, with or without us. That’s why how I spend my time is very important if I am to be a man of virtue.

On Tragedy, Death and Evil…a Stoic’s View

Posted on December 15, 2012 by Chris

“Never say of anything, ‘I have lost it’; but, ‘I have returned it.’ Is your child dead? It is returned. Is your wife dead? She is returned. Is your estate taken away? Well, and is not that likewise? ‘But he who took it away is a bad man.’ What difference is it to you who the giver assigns to take it back? While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don’t view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel.” –Epictetus

One cannot help but read the headlines and hear of tragic events all around us. Most recently, in the U.S. State of Connecticut, a very unstable young man of 20 chose to randomly shoot anyone he could in an elementary school. He cared not that his victims were young and innocent, or who they were. In the end, 20 young children and 8 adults were killed in a matter of minutes, including the shooter. 28 sentient beings have been “returned.” For 20 of them, their time here was a short one.

Unfortunately, what happened in Connecticut is not unique. While I would be hesitant to say that mass murder is a common occurrence, we would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge that its existence parallels that of all of humanity’s time on earth. It is difficult to understand for the large majority of peace-loving and life-respecting individuals, why such things happen. Some mass-murderers are evil, others are delusional. Still others, like Genghis Khan below (AD 1162-1227), even think they are justified by some purpose, but for the victims the result is the same.

Ghengis Kahn: figures estimate he killed up to 40 million. Public Domain photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg

Genghis Khan: figures estimate he killed up to 40 million. (Public Domain photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg)

Because such things do happen, and probably always will, I must acknowledge this: It can happen. It can happen to you, your children, or your spouse. It can happen today. It may happen 15 seconds from now.

Which brings me to one (although there could be many others) very important point about what we can learn from such an event: The existence of all is temporary. The existence of your children, your parents, friends, spouse, and you. All temporary! Acknowledging this should not be depressing. Rather, it should motivate you to cherish every moment with them. Appreciate them now, not when they are gone.

But to drive home this point, I will share an observation I had about what I saw on social media yesterday about the Connecticut shootings. Over and over, I read things like, “I am going to hug my little ones a little tighter tonight,” “my child had a drill about this very thing at school, it made me cry,” or “With everything that happened today, we are having a family night. It’s all I could think about as the day progressed. I just want my kids close.” Furthermore, I personally couldn’t help but picture my own grief had I lost my child in such a tragedy. I think we all tend to do this. We project a tragedy into our own life. This is not a bad thing; it is how we empathize with others. Should we really need a reminder, though?

You do not expect that this will be the last time you see your child.

Our goal then, is to understand that those we love in our lives are not ours. Even our own lives, in the end, are not ours. Every moment we spend is on loan, and the lease will expire at some point. We don’t know when, where or how, but it will end for all. This existence is borrowed. The sage of virtue knows this at all times…few of us are sages, but that is what we strive for. When I acknowledge the impermanence of all, then I relish every moment with those I love, and indeed I carefully examine how I spend my own time.

So, hug your loved ones a little tighter EVERY night, and try not to be reminded only when tragedy jolts you into awareness. That is the philosopher’s goal.

I am a Failure! What Now?

Posted on December 13, 2012 by Chris

“0h Crito, if it thus pleases the gods, thus let it be. Anytus and Melitus may kill me indeed, but hurt me they cannot.” –Plato’s Crito

For my job, I am required to pass an evaluation. I recently took one of these evaluations, and although I passed, I did not leave the lasting good impression that I had hoped to leave with my new boss. As the new guy, this was my chance to break through, to develop a trust from my employer that would be one I could build upon. That did not happen. Instead, as one thing led to another I ended up performing badly enough during one portion that I now am “in a hole” that I must dig out of. It left my evaluator, who just happens to be my boss, with a lack of confidence in my ability. For all intents and purposes, I failed.

If at first you don’t succeed…(photo by Ben Earwicker)

So what can I, as a Heroic Stoic make of this? Here are some thoughts.

1. Control

“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

Much of what happened on this particular evaluation was out my control: the situation I was put in, my own fatigue, my lack of situational awareness of how difficult the particular task was, my inexperience on the job, my own talent at performing the job, not to mention the boss’s opinion on the seriousness of the errors I committed. These are not excuses, this is a simple acknowledgment that there are certain things that I cannot control, when I face a failure. These are things that test me, that make me better. They improve my skills. Clearly, if I have failed then I have reached some kind of limit…at least I know where it is now, and what to do next.

2. Picking Myself Up

“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”–Dale Carnegie

(Photo by Cheryl Empey)

This failure has afforded me the opportunity to reevaluate my own attitude and what I can do better in the future. For example, in this case I have committed to be better at the tasks I did not do well. I will commit to never make those errors again. They may be my weaknesses, so I am set on bringing them up to par. Often, failures can close doors and force you to go in a different direction…it may lead to a change in focus in your life. A failure may make you realize that you are not cut out for a particular task, and a new door will open. It this is you, be on the lookout for it.

3. Worry (That is, Worrying About Fate)

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” –Marcus Aurelius

I could worry about how this will affect my future. How will this affect my work environment? Will the boss be looking for my mistakes now? Will it affect any raises I get? What happens if I make another mistake? Could I lose my job? All these things are possible, but they will largely be controlled by fate. There is no reason to worry about these things. What to be concerned about are the things I can control. I need to do the best job I possibly can. Will I make mistakes? Sure. Will I have to prove myself? Most definitely. All I can do is the best I can do…it is the only way to be virtuous.

4. Pride

“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.” George Burns

It is better to have tried at something I am committed to, than to not have tried at all. Along the way, there will be failures for things that are worth it. Failures don’t mean the end, and failures while doing something you love are worth it. It is my pride in my craft that will motivate me to be better…to be excellent!