What if My Life isn’t “Disney World”

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In my post “How Should I Go,” I likened our life to a trip to Disney World:  regardless of what you may want to do next, eventually the trip must end.  Part of what makes a vacation so special is that one gets to experience joyful things that they never have before, and might not experience again…maybe forever, maybe not for a long time.   Life can be like that, too.  In a vacation world, each day has something to offer us, and every moment has something special in it, but again, it won’t last forever.

Disney can be dark.

Disney can be dark.

However, I am talking about externals here, aren’t I?  And, when we talk about externals not all of them are so pleasant.  For many, the conditions of life are not like a vacation, but as prison or as a gulag.  For many, there are great struggles that face them.  For most of us, the reality lies somewhere in between vacation and gulag, but let’s discuss our worst case condition.

Indeed, some of us are experiencing external struggles: hunger, unemployment, sickness or death of loved ones, or poverty.  Others are engaged in a great internal personal struggle:  depression, grief, personal sickness, injury.  Let’s face it, for many of us, life is not Disney World…hardly.  Life may be a place we would rather leave as soon as possible.  Most who endure these struggles do not leave.  For most, the will to survive is innate.  Certainly, humankind would not have been around for all of these years if this desire to survive wasn’t built into our code.

Many who endure their struggles can be described as enduring “stoically.”  In modern usage, the term “stoic” refers to a person who grits his teeth and endures existence, never complaining about the pain and tribulation that he must endure.  Unfortunately, this modern interpretation is only half-right.  The Stoic, as referred to by me, is more than just indifferent to the negative pressure around her, but in addition she is also aware that happiness is found internally, through our reason.  Through our own deduction of what is true, we live as a Stoic not only to endure but to be at peace.

A much better view from the outside of Alcatraz

A much better view from the outside of Alcatraz

This peace, this tranquility is found in being aware of the good, by using reason to know what is in my control and what is not.  In that there is tranquility.  So, even if life has given us an inordinate amount of burden to bear, that goodness is still within.  Even if we are not at Disney World, we can find great happiness in our virtue.  Moreover, even in prison there can be things to be grateful for.  First and foremost is our thought…which no one can and nothing should penetrate.

“Tribunal and prison are distinct places, one high, the other low; but your will, if you choose to keep it the same in both, may be kept the same. So we shall emulate Socrates, but only when we can write songs of triumph in prison.”  Epictetus Discourses Book 2 Chapter 6

Simply, put my attitude is where I begin to find my own tranquility.  But how do I change my attitude?  Well, that requires another post, doesn’t it?  Probably several.

You Can Take a Staycation with only 5 Minutes…and its Free!

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“Men seek retreats for themselves, houses in the country, sea-shores, and mountains; and thou too art wont to desire such things very much. But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquility.”–Marcus Aurelius

People spend a lot of money and time so they can get away on splendid vacations.  They dream of places like Hawaii, Bermuda, St. Thomas, or maybe a get-away to Europe or Disney World!  Why do they do this?  I think everybody needs a little time to recharge the batteries, to gain a little clarity or put it all into perspective.  Also, I think that the stories we collect from our “get-aways” can last us a lifetime.

For the most part, though, all of the benefit of a vacation is available to you right now.  All you have to do is accept that it is all a game.  It is all impermanent.  Why are you chasing what you are chasing?  To have luxury? So your kids will have riches or security?  Will it help them?  You might be unemployed, so you are stressed about that.  You might have absolutely nothing.  Most of you reading this have at least some level of subsistence, though.  If you are reading this, at least you are alive, which is something for sure.  Even those with some major struggles, have a little time for a vacation, even one for 5 minutes.

You can get away right now.  Retire in your mind, and be grateful for all you have…for your life, your surviving family, the meal you will eat today.  Take a nap, watch a show, read a book, watch a TV movie with the family.  If only for a few minutes you can get away.  Maybe simply to reflect on what is virtuous, or on the impermanence of existence.

Is this guy on a Staycation? (photo by Kimberly Vohsen)

As for vacation stories, your everyday life is full of them.  Especially the small misfortune stories!  These are the blessings.  Like the time you backed into a pole, or your wife hit the side of the garage.  What about the morning you put your shirt on inside-out or backwards?  Yesterday, my daughter came down dressed in green-striped pants, with a pink and yellow checkered shirt.  Now that’s a story!  I collect vacations five minutes at a time.

I don’t think I could pull this look off.

In the end, you will be gone.  Don’t let this frighten you, just know that what you are after, what you are stressing over might not be that important.  Even if it is, you can take a break from it.

You can take your “Staycation.”