What is Your Set Point of Happiness?

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I need to spend more time in the now.  Like everyone, I spend far too much time grasping, chasing, and hunting for things that just aren’t that important.  I told my wife the other day, that my problem is that I want to “make a million dollars, help a million people, and live a million years.”  When I said this, she thought “live a million years” meant I wanted to leave a legacy with my work.  I thought about it for a while, and indeed that is something that I want; it’s one of those motivators that puts me back on the grasping trail.  However, what I really meant by “live a million years” was that I wanted to literally “live a million years.”  Talk about unrealistic expectations! Continue reading

10 Things in our Control to Give our Love…and Receive Love

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“So the question is not:  How can we obtain love and understanding?  The question is whether we have the capacity of generating love and understanding ourselves…true love is like that too.  Loving one person is really an opportunity to learn to love all people. If you have the capacity to love and to understand, you can do that now, you don’t have to wait.  When we succeed in this, our worry and fear go away, and we feel wonderful right away.” –Thich Nhat Hahn Answers from the Heart

Oh, the eternal questions about love (read more here).  What is love?  When will somebody love me? Continue reading

Blame Yourself First; Change Your Perception First

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“The first difference between the philosopher and the uneducated man is that the latter says, ‘Woe is me for my child, for my brother, woe is me for my father’, and the other, if he is compelled to speak, considers the matter and says, Woe is me for myself.’ For nothing outside the will can hinder or harm the will; it can only harm itself. If then we accept this, and, when things go amiss, are inclined to blame ourselves, remembering that judgement alone can disturb our peace and constancy, I swear to you by all the gods that we have made progress.”  Epictetus Discourses Book 3, Chapter 19

In this excerpt, Epictetus reemphasizes that our impressions Continue reading

I Finally Found My Son…Alive!

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I was planning to visit my son at college.  He knew I was going to see him Thursday.  My wife had sent him a text on Monday, telling him that we would be making the 3-hour drive to have lunch with him.  He responded with his typical concise “ok.”  We were very busy until Wednesday night, but my wife sent a text around 6 pm, “We are coming for lunch tomorrow.”  He did not respond.  No big deal, this is typical of my atypical son who does not check texts very often, and seems to reply even less.  At 10:30 pm the night before our trip, I sent a text to him…no response.  Again, this is typical, he was probably working and couldn’t check it.  As we departed for his college Thursday morning, I sent a new text, “We are coming for lunch today.”  I did not receive a reply. Continue reading

Doing What I Love or Loving What I Do?

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I recently had an opportunity to meet up with some old friends from the military at a retirement for a friend.  This friend was doing what he loved, the Air Force was his dream job.  I was envious.  I retired from the military precisely because it was not what I loved.  It was not my “dream job.”  My friend will be moving on to a high-powered corporate management gig, and I started to wonder how he will do outside of his “dream job.”  But then I realized something about my friend.  It wasn’t that he was doing what he loved, it’s because he loves what he’s doing.  My friend is going to love his new gig because he simply has a great attitude about things wherever he goes.  More specifically, he loves making “good things happen to people” (his words).  Fortunately for him, in management (a field used in every industry and calling) it always involves people.

This retirement event was a soul-searching one for me, Continue reading