Anchor #3: Patience

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“Think of this doctrine – That reasoning beings were created for one another’s sake; That to be patient is a branch of justice; and that we often sin without intending it.”–Marcus Aurelius

“My terrors should be quieted, my irritations soothed, my illusions shaken off, my indulgences checked, my greed rebuked.  And which of these cures can be brought about in a hurry?”–Seneca

Where can I find Patience?

The value of patience is best measured when I find out what happens when I don’t have it.  Things take time, and often they will not go my way.  When I am impatient, I create a tension within myself without anyone else’s help.  In another words, my impatience makes things worse.  This creates anger and other negative emotions, which in turn, impedes my ability to see things clearly.  …to think rationally …to be happy.

I can be impatient with many things.  Here are a few of them:

  • Progress of my career
  • My child’s development (in sports, school, maturity, etc.)
  • My parents’ stories
  • The agent at the help desk
  • The [lack of] performance of my computer
  • My house’s state of clutter or cleanliness
  • Someone else’s listening skills
  • My own listening skills

Regardless of what I am impatient of, I can refill my patience reservoir in this way.  Start by gently breathing in and out.  When I breathe in, I think “breathing in,” when I breathe out, I think “breathing out.”  Now, after a few moments of slowing down and being aware of the breath, I can now think “patience” with each breath.  Really think about the meaning, maybe apply it to each of those situations above.  At the beginning of the day, I say “I will have patience with…”  At the end of the day, I can ask, “Did I have patience with…?”  Once I am satisfied, that my patience reservoir is full, I can move on with my day.

This activity requires quite a bit of…

How is your patience doing today?  Are there better ways to nurture patience?

Anchor #2 Part Deux: Understanding and Root Cause Analysis

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Every once in a while, my worlds collide with each other.  In this case, my philosophical world has met my work world.  In my previous entry on understanding I wrote about how asking questions leads to better understanding.  If you read the post, you know how I really like “why” questions.

This got me thinking about why questions and a technique that is used in business process improvement (sometimes called Six Sigma or Lean) called the “5 whys.”  This technique is part of what is called root cause analysis.  In other words, it is to understand a problem in a business or production process.  Ah yes, understanding.

Essentially, this process starts out with the obvious problem and you keep asking why until you reach the root cause.  For example:

  • Problem:  My car won’t start
  1. Why? – The battery is dead.
  2. Why? – The alternator is not functioning.
  3. Why? – The alternator belt has broken.
  4. Why? – The alternator belt was well beyond its useful service life and not replaced.
  5. Why? – My alternator belt was not replaced according to schedule.
  6. Why? – I can’t order replacement parts because the car is too old.

Oops!  Notice, there is a 6th Why!  That’s right, there is no guarantee you’ll get to a root cause just because you use 5 whys.  You might even get to a root cause sooner than 5. “5 Whys” is only a guide.

So now that I know the root cause, I can set about fixing it.  Maybe I should get a new car, or maybe I can get someone to fabricate the proper belt, or maybe a different belt might work.  Another benefit of finding a root cause, is that it keeps me from misunderstanding the problem, or blaming something else.  For example, my car is not dead because my son left the headlights on.

So what about understanding in the philosophical sense.  Well, how about this example?

  • Problem:  My brother never calls me
  1. Why? – He is very busy
  2. Why? – He has been working 2 jobs and going to school
  3. Why? – He’s trying to send his kids to private school
  4. Why? –  He wants them to get into good colleges so they can get good jobs
  5. Why? –  He wants them to make lots of money

OK, so did I get to a root cause?  Maybe.  Maybe I should call him to see how things are.  Maybe he’s chasing after the wrong kind of happy.  Part of getting the right answers in asking why, is asking the right questions.  I suppose I could keep asking a sixth question:  Why? – He thinks that will make his children happy.  Hmmm, my brother is making lots of money.  Is it making him happy?  Well, it certainly is helping me understand why he doesn’t call.  It certainly is making me less concerned about me and more concerned about my brother.  Whether I got to a root cause or not, it certainly did help me understand.  This process of asking why, I think it led me to being more virtuous.  Don’t you think?

Why do they never call me?

Now, if your philosophy is not practical in your daily life, then why have it as a philosophy?  I figured I’d throw a little practical application in.

Was it useful?

(Feature photo source:  http://www.shutterstock.com/g/belovodchenko)

Anchor #1: Compassion

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If you’ve read any of my entries, you know that an awareness of suffering is key to my own journey of living a virtuous life.  Whether it is through Stoicism, Buddhism, Zen, or any other philosophy I have taken as my own, I strive to remain cognizant that everywhere people struggle.  The nature of our world can be violent; it is all around us.

Much of the time, we can be wrapped up in our own world.  My problems, my money, my lifestyle, etc.  But all around us there are others with problems.  By making yourself aware of these problems, you open your mind to caring about others.  As a bonus, awareness that suffering is indeed common to all of humanity puts your own personal strife in perspective. In short, as you view your own problems and struggles, as well as all those around you, you then see them as a constant in all of the human condition.

Suffering everywhere, plenty of room for compassion

However, being aware of suffering is only the beginning.  To feel compassion is to care about the sufferer.  When I meditate on compassion, I begin to feel the struggles of those around me.  Turn on the news, take note of one or two stories of grief.  It won’t take long to find them, because the news is full of them.  Alternately, you can think of your friends and family and their struggles: sickness, accidents, hunger, poverty, mental illness, loss of job.  Do you have sympathy for them?  Of course.  Do you want to comfort them?  Yes.  Now you are showing compassion.

Don’t you deserve some compassion, too?  Well, absolutely.  What about your worst fears, your phobias, your inner struggles?  You have them.  I know you have them, because everybody does.  However, these struggles are yours.  Do you deserve compassion?  Absolutely!

You can begin with compassion for yourself, as if you were another, then you can start to direct your compassion outward.  As you start to feel compassion for others who suffer, you become free from self.  As you start to focus outward, you become motivated to act for the sake of others, rather than for your own sake.  This is refreshing, and it leads us to virtue.

So let’s meditate on compassion.

As you continue to read this post, please slow down, s-l-o-w–d-o-w-n, breathe in……….then breathe out.  Now…close your eyes…notice your breath, inhale, exhale…

…think of all your struggles, and any sadness you may have.  Now follow your breath, inhaling and exhaling.  Show yourself compassion as if you were another, mentally pat your own back and say, “I understand” to yourself.  Show yourself compassion because you deserve it.  You may show compassion for yourself as long as you wish in this reflection, and you can take as long as you need until you are ready to show compassion for those around you.

Now, take a person you know closely and mentally give them a long comforting hug.  Don’t forget your breath…inhale, exhale.  Maintain your “hug,” and tell this suffering person that “I know how you feel” or “I can empathize with your plight.”  Close your eyes, and continue to psychically hug them…hold them for a long time, and feel their pain.  That’s compassion.  You can continually do this over and over.  You can start with those close to you, move on to casual acquaintances, then maybe move on to those you don’t know (like someone in the news).  Each time you go back and start over with your “mental hug” expand your compassion outward.

Give Somebody a Hug! Anybody!

Possibly, you can broaden your scope.  Feel the world around you, as you inhale and exhale.  Gently and easily repeat “compassion” over and over.  Maybe you have someone who you disagree with, is just plain disagreeable, or someone who is your enemy.  Do you think they suffer from some malady?  Feel compassion for them and their suffering as you inhale, then as you exhale…”compassion.”

You can continue this as long as you’d like.  I hope it helps you with your compassion…and on your quest for virtue.

After Signing the Acceptance Contract, What Next?

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Now that I’ve made and accepted my Acceptance Contract, I am free to move on to answering other questions.  I can now tackle things that are more in my control:

  • Why don’t more people read my blog?
  • Can my message help others?
  • How can I reach a bigger audience?
  • Am I focusing on the things in my life that are important?
  • What do people need?
  • Can I provide that to them?
  • If not, what can I provide?

Probably the biggest of these questions is, “Am I focusing on the things in my life that are important?”   Well, answering this question requires me to know what is important.   To know what is important, I need to answer whether I am living a life of virtue?  If I am not, then why not?

What should I focus on?

What leads to a life of virtue? Honesty? Industry? Love? Sharing?  These are all things to be reflected on in my meditation.  I have asked these questions, and I have found that seven meditation anchors lead me to acting with virtue.  They allow me to live my life with a backdrop of ocean so that whatever figurative poison drops into my life is diluted (see Passionate Equanimity).

These seven will be revealed in turn…

 

A Little Knowledge? (Moderation Part 7)

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Part 7 in the Moderation Series.  To See Part 1, click here.

It seems like the more we know, the more we don’t know.  I have lived my life never tiring of learning more.  I have an insatiable appetite for knowledge, and I don’t think I’ve ever lost it.

I think one of the greatest things my parents ever did for me was purchase a set of World Book Encyclopedias.  I would flip through those things devouring knowledge.  Facts, figures, history, I wanted to know more and more.  It was one of the ways I could explore my world around me.  Searching for knowledge is inherently human, I think.  However, I also think I may be obsessive about it.  I am addicted to the pursuit of knowledge.

My obsession with knowledge was fueled by these.

In comes the internet circa 1993ish.  What a treasure-trove of information, and it never ends!  Never, never, never, never ends.  Never!   Sometime, about 10 years ago, I realized that I had literally burned out, completely overdosed on all the information the internet had to offer.  I spent life saying “Let’s find out,” to unknown answers.  With the internet, I had Yahoo, Lycos, and Google to answer all my questions.   It overwhelmed me.  At some point, I realized I had to slow down.  I couldn’t possibly know everything.

My Desk: Sometimes I wonder if I still have “too much” information.

So is there such thing as too much knowledge?  Well, I think the answer lies in comparing knowledge with wisdom.  By definition, knowledge is the state of knowing something, particularly a fact.  Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting.  So, there is a lot of information out there, and it is my job to have the wisdom to tell what parts of that knowledge are useful, true, or correct.

In essence, I have to filter the knowledge I receive to gain wisdom.  Wisdom, then, is the moderation of knowledge.  You might argue, aha, then you don’t need to moderate your wisdom!  I would tend to agree.  Wisdom, in and of itself, is a moderating word.  To say we only need wisdom in moderation, is like saying we only need moderation in moderation.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

“…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference…”  from the Serenity Prayer attributed to Reinhold Neibuhr