Me

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Chris

“If one were to measure what is agreeable by the standard of pleasure, nothing would be pleasanter than self-control; and if one were to measure what is to be avoided by pain, nothing would be more painful than lack of self-control.” Musonius Rufus

How do I live? Isn’t that the whole point of having a philosophy? It is good to have a philosophy, to be whole and virtuous, to have tranquility, but is it a mistake to spend the bulk of my time and thought on “me”? In the end, we are looking for our own contentment. I am not going to lie to myself; in the end, how I live my life is determined by how it makes “me” feel. Will my actions and thoughts bring me tranquility?

I close my eyes for a moment. What do I sense? Where is the center of this sensation? For some, it will be in our heads, for others it will be somewhere near the center of mass of our body, maybe the navel, maybe near the heart. What is my perspective when I open my eyes? The perspective comes from the center of my head. When I listen where does the sound go? Inside me somewhere, yes? When I feel pleasant, where do I feel it…somewhere within the boundaries of my body, no? Everything starts somewhere within the confines of “me.” For you, it is the same.

The Eyes are the “Portal to the Soul”

My point here is that I cannot avoid the fact that everything in my life starts with an egocentric motive, it starts with me. All things in my life start with me. All the things that I can control are inside of me. My mood, my thoughts, parts of my health. This is not to say that everything in me is in my control. I will maintain that cancer may destroy my body regardless of how much I do not want it to. My brain does not fire on all cylinders all the time despite how much I want it to. The examples abound of things I cannot control within me. But here is my point: if it is something we can control, it is within us. Nothing outside of us is completely in our control.

Are you “seaworthy?”

Moreover, too many times we attempt to “fix” the world around us before we have made ourselves ready for the task. Before setting sail, shouldn’t we make sure our ship is seaworthy? Absolutely! Keep in mind, that you could spend 100% of your time on yourself, and of course there will still be imperfection. For a ship, being seaworthy does not mean that there aren’t maintenance issues to be dealt with constantly. Eventually, you have to sail with what you have, and you deal with the minor issues on the ship as they appear. So, I hope you see my point: tending to your own mind and body is first and will take the bulk of your time, but that is so you can well and faithfully serve where necessary…but only if and when you have readied yourself.

I think that is why the Stoic philosophy is so “me-oriented,” since that is the locus of control that we truly have. That is why me is always first. Wholeness begins with yourself. You can serve others better when you are whole.

Me, We, and They

Posted on February 10, 2013 by Chris

I think living a virtuous life is a balance between tending to me, we, and they. It starts with tending to “me,” but at some point I move on to “we” and “they.” As I move on to “we” and “they,” I always return back to “me” again, cultivating my own virtue. Certainly, part of virtuous living is how effectively I keep these in balance, and how smoothly I transition to tending each. A good balance I think, is about 50/30/20 (me/we/they).

Starting with “me.”

I will discuss this in more detail soon. Starting with, “me” of course.

…then “we” and “they”

“Root out the violence in your life, and learn to live compassionately and mindfully. Seek peace. When you have peace within, real peace with others is possible.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh

The Story of Epictetus

Posted on February 8, 2013 by Chris

I recently talked about The Buddha, and how his life started as one of riches and comfort. I also mentioned that perhaps this state of life positioned him to begin his journey toward enlightenment. In short (very short), his life of riches did not mean eternal happiness, and in fact may have made him more attuned to dissatisfaction in life.

Epictetus with his cane

On the other hand, Epictetus, one of our Stoics, came from the opposite “side of the tracks.” He was born around AD 55 as a roman slave, well actually he was born in a Greek-speaking region of the Roman empire. He was lame in one leg from childhood. In some stories, this bad leg was the result of a beating of his slavemaster, although it could have been a rheumatic (arthritis) condition he inherited. Either way, it was a physical impediment throughout his life. Early in life, still a child by most measures, he came to Rome as a slave of a freed slave named Epaphroditus. Epaphroditus allowed Epictetus to study under another famous Stoic, Musonius Rufus, where certainly much of his philosophy was formed. In his teens, he was eventually freed from slavery. When he was 34, he (and many other philosophers) was banished from Rome by the Emperor Domitian. Let’s not gloss over this; think about what it would be like for the government to come to your house and say, “We don’t like what you do for a living, now you must leave the country, because you are a threat.” This is is what this would be like in modern times. Really, really imagine this (hopefully you only have to imagine this, and have never actually experienced this) and how difficult this would be. You would have to either pay for movement of some/all of your possessions and/or leave some/all of your possessions behind. In any case, he did leave and he continued to teach philosophy in Western Greece (Nicopolis) until his death at about 80. He lived a solitary and simple life, with very few possessions. He either married very late in his life or not at all (depending on the account). Also in his late life, he adopted a child whose parents were unable to provide for it.

Nicopolis on the Western Coast

It may very well have been his experience as both a slave and with physical handicap that convinced him that life is a struggle that is given to us as a gift for our improvement. Furthermore, our attachment to controlling that which we cannot control causes us even more grief. Suffering and the relief of suffering–this sounds a lot like the Buddha. Read this excerpt below and try and distinguish this from Buddhism (Although there are differences in style and degree, I have a difficult time):

On suffering: “Difficulties are what show men’s character. Therefore when a difficult crisis meets you, remember that you are as the raw youth with whom God the trainer is wrestling…That you may win at Olympia: and that cannot be done without sweating for it.” –Discourses Book 1 Chapter 1

On attachment: “But now when it is in our power to look after one thing, and to attach ourselves to it, we prefer to look after many things, and to be bound to many things, to the body and to property, and to brother and to friend, and to child and to slave. Since, then, we are bound to many things, we are depressed by them and dragged down. For this reason, when the weather is not fit for sailing, we sit down and torment ourselves, and continually look out to see what wind is blowing. “It is north.” What is that to us? “When will the west wind blow?” When it shall choose, my good man, or when it shall please Aeolus; for God has not made you the manager of the winds, but Aeolus. What then? We must make the best use that we can of the things which are in our power, and use the rest according to their nature. What is their nature then? As God may please.” –Discourses Book 1 Chapter 24

Epictetus’ teaching cuts to the heart of living the Heroic Stoic way. Always in mind, should be the source of suffering and its relief by our non-attachment. Always in mind are how most things are out of our control. Much of our life is destined by fate, and all of it is impermanent.

What about my Self-Esteem and Self-Actualization?

Posted on February 2, 2013 by Chris

Previously, I discussed how I can control my own desires to “lower the bar” of expectations of what I truly need. Mostly, I was speaking of material things and basic sustenance. But what if I’ve already mastered those things? What if I am just fine with the house I have, with the meals I eat, and with the money I earn?

I am on to bigger and better things. I want a job that is fulfilling, I want to feel self-actualized! To be a hero! I want meaning in my pursuit of life!

To gain a perspective on meaning and purpose in life, I always return to control, fate and impermanence. To be self-actualized, you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “I have done my best, at what I must do in my pursuit of virtue.” It’s that simple. If you can honestly tell that to yourself about your pursuits, then you should be self-actualized. When it comes to your pursuits, this is all you have control over. Everything else is external.

As Seneca reminds us, “For if a man engages in many affairs, he often puts himself in the power of Fortune, while his safest course is rarely to tempt her, always to be mindful of her, and never put any trust in her promises. Say, I will set sail unless something happens, and I shall become praetor unless something hinders me, and my enterprise will be successful unless something interferes.”

Self-Actualized!

In short, if you are involved in a pursuit that is unwholesome, then stop. If you are putting your best efforts toward betterment of yourself and those around you, then you need to do no more.

So, you can control your self-esteem and self-actualization needs with your contemplation and philosophy.

Self-Actualize, Philosopher!

The Problem with Maslow

Posted on January 29, 2013 by Chris

In all of my studies of Maslow (which are limited to brief undergraduate and that for this article), nowhere does anybody speak of the fact that we can CONTROL our desires. People throw around Maslow’s Hierarchy like humans are just animals, acting instinctively with little control over our minds.

Maslow’s Hierarchy

On the spectrum of things we can control, our desires are one of those things that we have quite a lever on. This is where a Heroic Stoic can use the tools of philosophy to modify the hierarchy. For example, if I must have caviar and filet every day, then certainly I have set a high bar for fulfilling my physiological need of food. What about shelter? Do I need a 5,000 square foot home or a tent? These things are for us to decide. Certainly they are not easy decisions, and they require some judgment. Many human beings live in simple dwellings with no heat/cooling, while I cannot imagine not having a powered system that controls my indoor environment.

Live here?

Or could I? My awareness of this fact is half the battle, isn’t it? Could I live without central heating? Well, first of all I live in a mild climate so I am ahead of the game. But seriously, could I? At first, I think it would be difficult, but eventually I can imagine that I would adapt with less clothing in Summer and bundling up in Winter. Imagining this is therapeutic. It allows me to see that my life as I know it can change, and it also helps me appreciate the needs I have fulfilled. In a sense, this awareness allows me to jump up the ladder of needs fulfillment. It helps me realize that central heating is not physiological but maybe a safety need. When I don’t need caviar and filet for my food, then I can move on to higher needs.