You are completely in control of your life…and no one else’s!

Posted on September 22, 2012 by Chris

In my frantic preparations to produce content this morning I was frenetically reading through some of my favorite writings of philosophy and inspiration. Finally, I came upon Dale Carnegie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People.

I just want you all to know that I LOVE this book. In dealing with people, I have found no better guide. I have read it twice fully and have reviewed the principles so many times, I could not even begin to guess the number. Chapter 1, “Don’t Kick Over the Beehive,” tells us how ineffective criticism and condemnation is. Essentially, we don’t respond well to it. So, that got me thinking.

Why is criticism so ineffective? I will say that my answer is that I don’t respond to it, because I am unwilling to change simply because someone else wants me to. For me to change the way I think about things, it must be my idea. “Nobody’s gonna tell me what to do!” Nobody’s gonna tell me what I should do! That decision is up to me. If it’s not my idea, I don’t respond very well.

Don’t tell me what to do! Don’t tell ME I’m wrong!

So, try and ask yourself this question (even if someone else may have brought it to your attention): If this is the way I should live, why am I not living this way?

For example, I’ve realized that I don’t spend enough quality time with my kids. I’ve examined why this is so: I work, I am tired, they are boring, I don’t like what they like, they are busy, etc. In the end, however, my values tell me that I should spend time with my kids as a father, teaching them what I know, playing with them more, etc. Somebody can tell me, “You work too much, and your kids need you,” but I am the only one who can change the situation. So in order to change this I must commit: from now on, I will spend more time with my kids. Even better, I can be more specific:

I will spend 45 minutes every day learning Spanish with my kids (which, in fact I now do).
When my children are speaking to me, I will stop what I am doing and listen, or I will politely tell them, “come back to me in XX minutes when I finish this, OK?” (this one is definitely a challenge for me).

My point today, is not that we should avoid criticizing others (which we probably should), or that we should increase the time we spend teaching our children (which we definitely should). My point is this (repeat it to yourself if you wish):

If I know I should be living my life a certain way, only I can make that choice to do so.
If this is what I should do, then I must do it.

Tactical Optimism and Strategic Pessimism

Posted on September 12, 2012 by Chris

I was listening to the Morning in America radio show several years ago, and Bill Bennett, the host said something like this: “I am a tactical optimist, and a strategic pessimist. We are all ashes in the end, but we wake up each morning and figure out how to move the ball each day.”

This is a profound and rich quote, full of allusions to sport, religion, and military maneuver, not to mention a little Stoic wisdom (most likely by accident…not sure Dr. Bennett is a Stoic).

In essence, this phrase captures how a Heroic Stoic would live. Yes, in the end tragedy will befall us, including our own and everyone else’s death, but that does not mean we shouldn’t serve, build, and create anyway.

Tactical Optimism for the Long Trip Ahead – I’m confident I can make it to that next tree. After that, more trees!

The Stoic knows that nothing lasts forever, and that much is out of her control. However, she continues on and works on those things that she can control. Moreover, to be a hero she would indeed contribute for the sake of her own excellence, for the very sake of accomplishing the task. For those who wish to take advantage of her productive endeavors, she will willingly engage in trade with them.

Right now, millions of people are currently grasping for more, or wallowing in self-pity, or even thinking that they deserve something from “the man,” from life, or from those who have the ability to help them. Many others are happy with the illusion that tragedy will somehow miss them. Many have never heard of the Stoics, and others might not agree with the individual-centered philosophy of Ayn Rand. It is my view that this will probably remain the case; neither Stoic philosophy nor individualism seem to be anywhere close to be being described as “en vogue.” It is the default position of human nature to ignore the suffering around us rather than face it head-on. Moreover, it is a very common trait of humans to attribute one’s station in life as the fault of another, or of society in general. In the end, the great majority will never embrace a Heroic Stoic lifestyle, no matter what I do, write, or say.

Strategic Pessimism – Those trees will be ashes soon enough.

Despite all of this, I write about these topics. I believe in the power of Heroic Stoicism, and hopefully I can move the ball forward just a little today, tomorrow, and every day. Even though most of YOU out there will not truly embrace what I say, I write about what I believe, because I think it will HELP YOU.

That’s because I am a tactical optimist, despite the fact that I am a strategic pessimist.

Was Robin Hood a Good Guy? Was He Altruistic?

Posted on September 3, 2012 by Chris

WARNING: THE TALE OF ROBIN HOOD HAS EVOLVED, THERE ARE MANY VERSIONS AND NO SINGLE AUTHOR…IN ESSENCE, IT IS A FOLK TALE. MY ENTRY IS BASED ON MY UNDERSTANDING (i.e. VERSION).
MANY… …VERSIONS!

Here is a short synopsis of my version: Robin Hood has a band of Merry Men, who steal from a usurping tyrant king (Prince John) who takes property forcefully from the citizens through a “tax.” Robin and his band then distribute the loot to those who in fact earned it in the first place. In the end, a new king (King Richard) returns and everyone is happy because he is a “just” ruler (what life is like after King Richard returns is unknown…in any case, he represents a more fair government). Oh…and there is Robin’s love interest as well (Maid Marion).

Which means I agree with the blue text of this image, which I recently posted on Facebook:

Note: The red text is actually a false statement about the story. In fact, Robin did steal from the rich and give to the poor. I’ll provide a better caption below, but read on…

So anyway, I posted that photo above on facebook. Well, I now know that at least one of my friends read my blog, because sure enough, based on my previous Altruism post one of them asked, “but was he altruistic?” Well that is a darn good question, but it also leads to another question, “Was he good?”

So, let’s start with the second question first. Is Robin Hood a good guy? More precisely, in the context of the story, is stealing from whom he was stealing a good or a bad action? First, let’s check the premise. Does Robin Hood steal from the rich and give to the poor?–Yes. Did these rich obtain their wealth through their own hard work and by providing value to someone else, or did they steal their riches through force? I say the latter. So, assuming Robin Hood is taking from the rich ruler who obtained his riches by threatening force upon a populace (i.e. robbery), then I would say that indeed Robin Hood’s actions were noble.

Notice that my judgment is based on looking at the issue at hand deeper than a topical news media headline: “Robin Hood Works for Common Man, Takes from Fat Cats and Gives to Poor!” In fact, when you look a degree or two deeper, you find that, “Robin Hood Locates Thieves of Citizens’ Riches, Returns Goods Back to Rightful Owners!” Language is very powerful, more powerful than even logic. Most of the time, most of us (including me), don’t take much time to evaluate a situation. Most of the time, we can be manipulated by slogans and catchy words.

OK, according to my version of the story (not that he simply stole from the rich to give to the poor, but that he returned to the citizens what an oppressive ruler took from them), Robin performed a good act. So, assuming his actions are good, were they altruistic?

I would argue that he is not altruistic for these reasons.

In many versions of the story, Robin benefits from the patronage of King Richard, The Lion-Hearted (the “good” King). He may be looked upon as holding down the fort until Richard returned and brought a just society.
The citizens are immensely grateful for his services. He can feel good about the service that he performs for them.
This “gratefulness” gives Robin a type of defacto power (power is a big incentive for many). He is an elder of the people.
Maid Marion – his actions get him the girl (our reproductive drive is a HUGE motivator…somebody should remind me to post on that later)
I’m sure there are more, can you think of any?

photo from effective.com

I would like to return to the “steal from the rich give to the poor” moral of the story. If indeed Robin Hood was stealing from a rich person just because they have “too much” and those who are poor “deserve it,” this would not be a righteous action without knowing the premises (for example, the premise that the “rich” were actually “criminals”).

So here’s my suggestion for a more truthful caption to the image above: Pay Attention! While Robin Hood did steal from the rich and give to the poor, what made his actions justifiable were that he took people’s stolen stuff BACK from an oppressive CRIMINAL GOVERNMENT and gave it to the people that produced and OWNED the stuff in the first place!! The fact that his victims were rich and benefactors were poor, did not justify his actions!!

And now you see, why I have no future in writing headlines or political slogans.

What are your thoughts?

The Coming Catastrophe!

Posted on September 1, 2012 by Chris

“All existing things soon change, and they will either be reduced to vapour, if indeed all substance is one, or they will be dispersed.” Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

One of the key elements of Stoicism is the concept of fate. Tragedy will befall you in some way, it is certain. Nobody really knows what fate has in store for them. It could be any number of good or bad fortunes.

So the other day I read THIS ARTICLE by Holly Drennan Deyo at LewRockwell.com. It’s about preparing for a food crisis, and why I should do so. At first read, the article seems a little alarmist. I mean really, what are the odds we have a famine in this country? Seriously, do you know the odds? Hey, YOU, I am asking you the question…seriously: DO YOU KNOW THE ODDS OF A FAMINE IN THIS COUNTRY? I know the only answer that can be given: You don’t know the odds, I don’t know the odds, even the experts are unlikely to know the likelihood of a widespread famine where you live.

Could this be you? Is it possible?

The point that I want to make is not that this catastrophe is probable, but that indeed it is possible. Maybe it is not likely, or maybe it is extremely likely. This is a calculation for each of us to make. My calculation is that the chance is greater than any of us would like to admit, that food prices may soar through the roof. As a result, it might be extremely difficult for me to purchase what I need to feed myself and my family in the future (I don’t grow my own…yet).

As a Stoic, I feel fairly confident I am ready for this possibility mentally. As a Hero, I am way underprepared in physical terms. As a Stoic, I know the possible catastrophe ahead is completely out of my control. My preparation for it, however, is mostly in my control. I say mostly because, of course, I have limited resources to survive now, I have limited capacity to estimate how much time I might have, or how drastic the “catastrophe” will be, or if my wife thinks this is something to worry about enough to prepare for (we are currently in negotiation about what catastrophe preparation is appropriate . I don’t think we are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but certainly we have not come to an agreed upon strategy. UPDATE: I just read this post to her and she says we are definitely on opposite ends of the spectrum. The negotiation continues…). In essence, I must gamble with time and current resources on the possibility. Additionally, I must cooperate with those in my life on an agreed upon way ahead.

…or are you thinking of this? (a Margan Zajdowicz photo)

…or this? (by LotusHead, www.pixelpusher.co.za)

For now, let’s return to Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. Read this one slowly, with the possibility of the coming famine in mind. You must read the whole thing but really let the last line sink in:

“None of these things ought to be called a man’s, which do not belong to a man, as man. They are not required of a man, nor does man’s nature promise them, nor are they the means of man’s nature attaining its end. Neither then does the end of man lie in these things, nor yet that which aids to the accomplishment of this end, and that which aids towards this end is that which is good. Besides, if any of these things did belong to man, it would not be right for a man to despise them and to set himself against them; nor would a man be worthy of praise who showed that he did not want these things, nor would he who stinted himself in any of them be good, if indeed these things were good. But now the more of these things a man deprives himself of, or of other things like them, or even when he is deprived of any of them, the more patiently he endures the loss, just in the same degree he is a better man.“

Your thoughts and comments, please!

The Evil of Altruism

Posted on August 27, 2012 by Chris

For many years, I felt guilty. I felt guilty that I seemed to be more put together than some of my friends, and that I produced work of higher quality than many around me. I felt guilty that I made and had money, and that I didn’t give more of it away. I felt guilty that I desired…things, people, and reputation. This guilt continued and grew as I started to further earn my own way and strive for excellence in my life. Through my upbringing, my religion, and the culture, I was made to feel that the truly great were those who gave up everything for those around them. They gave up their lives, their fortunes, and their souls. They were the saints. Continue reading →