Take a Breath, Reflect

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“Adorn thyself with simplicity and modesty and with indifference towards the things which lie between virtue and vice. Love mankind. Follow God.” –Marcus’ Meditations Book 7

In this case, Marcus Aurelius wants to stress to himself that to be simple and modest is best.  As for the things which “lie between virtue and vice,” maybe we really don’t know it all.  Maybe we don’t know the answer.  We all have our judgments of right and wrong, but maybe we should stop judging, at least a little bit.  Sometimes, we might just be better to just breathe…to just “be.”  Don’t judge, like we always do as humans…just exist, take a breath, take several breaths.  Be like the stone at the bottom of the river and let the water flow over you, and just be there and exist…not judging.

Take some time, and just be.

Take some time, and just be.

When you’ve mastered that, then love everything around you (especially “mankind”).  Sometimes this is hard to do, no?  ALL of mankind?  Really, really try.  Don’t hold back.  Love all of mankind.  All that is happening now, is meant to happen.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  It is all under the auspices of the cosmos, our divine existence.

Young or old...

Young or old…

Be good to yourself, be good to those close, be good to those beyond (me, we, they…).

I “am” as I “do?”

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Who am I?   I have had many roles, and continue to have more…too many in fact.  Here are the ones I can think of:

  • Blogger
  • Father
  • Husband
  • Pilot
  • Personal Trainer
  • College Instructor
  • Teacher (to my young children)
  • Investor
  • Brother
  • Son
  • Philosopher
  • Retired Officer
  • Veteran
  • Liberty Activist

But these are just roles I play.  There were times in my past when I wanted some of these to define who I was.  Occasionally, I still latch on to one of them and think, “that’s my calling, that’s who I am?”  However, none of these roles are who I am in entirety.  I am all of these and none of them all at the same time.  When someone asks me, “what do you do?”, it’s a tough question.  I do a lot.  If someone asks me “who are you?” (which they never do), then what is the answer?  It’s an even tougher question; or is it?

What role will I play today?

What role will I play today?

I am at a point in my life where I am defined by no one thing.  This is a good thing, I think.  I have been headed in that direction for some time now.  In the past year, since I retired from military servitude, I have had much more time to explore and dive into things that I like and do things that are more productive.  I don’t have goals, so much as I have themes (I stole the “themes” theme from James Altucher: see more).  My themes are simple, yet my means seem to be surprisingly complicated.  Every time I write down the themes I wish to pursue, they come down to these three:

  1. Have Fun (through interesting and meaningful pursuits)
  2. Help People (family, job, and community)
  3. Pursue Liberty (for me and others)

I will readily admit that these three themes necessitate a grasping of this world.  However, I always try to remember that my participation in this world doesn’t necessitate my belief that this participation in it is permanent, or that I will make a lasting impact in much of what I do.  I just am, while I try.  As a philosopher, I should pursue my themes with some rational detachment.  In the end, I will be gone and so will you.  The goal then is to just “be,” while pulling your weight along the way.  At the end as I utter my last breaths, I could ask myself:

  1. “Did you enjoy it along the way?”
  2. “Did you do your best to be a positive influence on those around you?”

However I can answer these 2 questions, then that is who I am.  I hope to answer YES, to both.

PS:  I just realized 2 things:  1) This post is like an open journal entry and 2) It comprises bits and pieces of the three influencing philosophies from my life raft.

Philosophical Raft

Ten Things I am Grateful For (Changing My Attitude)

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Happiness is a state of mind…blah, blah, blah, blah.   Great, thanks for the advice, how does that really help me?  Happiness is a state of mind?  Seriously how is that supposed to help me?  I know that!  The real question is, how do I change my mind?  More precisely, how do I change my state of mind to be happy.

Well, one way is to list things you are grateful for.  This morning I came up with a list of 10 things I am grateful for.  When I started, I wanted it to be a “Top 10” things I am grateful for, but as I kept thinking I realized that it would be difficult to say which things would be in the “top 10.”  In any case, these are the first 10 things I thought of.

  1. No Pain – Some people, when they open their eyes in the morning feel pain immediately.  Maybe in their joints, their back, their head, stomach, etc.  I am very fortunate.  As I age, I think I have more and more aches and pains, but I do not have anything I would classify as chronic pain.  I am very grateful that my body has yet to rebel on me.
  2. My Wife – I am grateful for my wife.  I do not want to be too sentimental here, although I could get that way.  I could write post after post of things I am grateful for about my wife.  For this list, however, I will limit my gratefulness to 2 major things about my wife that I am grateful for.  First, I am grateful that I managed to find someone who is comaptible enough with me that living with her is possible.  I take for granted, that many end up with a mate that is so incompatible that they are doomed to difficulty or divorce from the start.  Not so with my wife and I.  We have our differences certainly, but these are things we tweak here and there.  Next, is the fact that she gives a damn…about our relationship.  My wife loves and cares for US.   She makes an effort to build our relationship; when I make the effort she returns it, sometimes ten-fold.  I mention this because I often take this for granted.  She exerts effort to keep our relationship strong.  I know that this is not always the case with others.  Many people just give up on their relationships.
  3. Children (mine) – I have 5 children.  Each of them provides me with a different perspective on life.  In their own way, they each decipher the world for me through a different lens.  It is very difficult to put into words how each of them brings me joy and insight.  A little embarrassingly, they also make me very proud…I shouldn’t really have pride, should I?
  4. Food – It is not lost on me, that I have never had to worry about if I would get my next meal.  Certainly, not always a feast, but I have had some of those as well.
  5. Shelter – I have more than enough space, conditioned air, electricity, running safe water, and all the other amenities of a standard U.S. home.  I often think to myself that my residence would be considered a manor if I were to transport it back in time 100 years.  Take it further back, maybe 300 years, and it would be the grandest castle in all the world.  It’s amazing how lucky you can consider yourself when you think through the 4th dimension of time.
  6. My Mind – I am grateful that my reasoning faculties are intact.  This certainly may not last forever.  I have observed that my mind has indeed slowed down.  I have seen grandparents devolve into dementia (although from their perspective, this may actually be a blessing), and I can see others who have lost or are just losing their mind around me.
  7. Ice Cream – Do I really need to explain?  Sidenote:  I mix in peanut butter.  It’s weird and makes it even worse for me, but makes for a breathtaking occasional treat!  Also, ice cream is not food like in #4…it’s a completely different category.

    It's missing peanut butter.

    It’s missing peanut butter.

  8. Negative Examples – All around me, people are rude, proud, and lying.  They are violent, they don’t listen.  They judge me, in my opinion, without all the facts too soon.  They are ambitious to the point of greed and sometimes to obsession.  I am so grateful for this.  This is an opportunity for me to see my own dark side, to see it from outside of me.  When you see these things in another, you can address them in yourself…and use this as an antidote not to be like that.
  9. Life is a Path – I am glad that I was born basically knowing nothing.  I am glad that my parents taught me their view on life.  I am glad that society tried to teach me “norms.”  I am glad for organized religion, too.  Much of what I was taught I rejected, but I was challenged to do so on the path.  I am glad I once thought one way so strongly, in order that I was forced to defend my beliefs; as a result, I realized I was wrong.  So many thoughts, beliefs and philosophies I have had, all to lead to right now, which I am very grateful for.  …and the journey continues.Autumn Path C
  10. The Sun – I certainly take this for granted.  No matter what, the food you eat, the electricity we generate, the wood and steel we use, the plants….everything…all of Gaia…originates in the energy of the sun.  So perfectly placed from our planet, stable enough that it warms us and doesn’t fry us.  Close enough that we don’t freeze to death…it’s existence, simply amazing!

    Ball of energy!

    Ball of energy!

  11. The Internet – I guess this one is a bonus.  Used in moderation, the internet is a wonderful thing.  Information, communication, love, hate, play, business, fun…it’s a virtual world.  I am sure that if we never had the internet we would not miss it, but now that it is here, I really appreciate it.

So, in case you were wondering how to change your attitude and appreciate your world, there it is.  Maybe you are grateful for some of the things on my list, too.

Sid’s Journey from Riches to Rags to Richness

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Siddhartha Gautama, let’s call him Sid, was disenchanted with his life.  More precisely, Sid was dismayed with the condition of life in general.  You see, Sid was a prince.  He was tended to by many servants whenever he needed them.  He was protected by his father (the king) from seeing the dreary world outside the palace.  Yet, Sid inherently longed to explore outside the walls.  He knew the world that had been manufactured for him was a lie.  Even with all the protection, and all the effort to make his life worry-free, he began to notice suffering.  He knew that truth started by looking at the world as it is, both good and bad.

Living in this palace might be nice, but would it bring happiness?

Living in this palace might be nice, but would it bring happiness?

When he began exploring outside the palace walls, he really started to see grief, suffering, and sickness.  If he had waited long enough he would have seen even more suffering within the palace walls.  Servants would have been missing. Why?  From death, sickness, unhappiness with their job?  His father would have eventually died or become sick.  Others he loved could have been cross for no apparent reason.  Sid might have taken a false step on a set of stairs, and he could have fallen and broken his back.  The fact that the story of Sid, who would become the Buddha, implies that he had to leave the palace to find real suffering makes me believe there is some amount of fairy tale to it.  The departure from the palace is required as an allegory or parable to symbolize that we have to “see” everything to understand.  Nonetheless, the story makes the point that no amount of veneer on life can cover up the fact that it is “nasty, brutish, and short” (Thanks to Hobbes).

I have gone through Sid’s story before.  You can read it here.  He went out to try and find the truth, to be enlightened.  At first, he came to the conclusion that since he was not happy with all his riches, he should renunciate luxuries to find true happiness.  He became an ascetic, and he lived on virtually nothing.  But I think he realized that living on barely anything is barely living.   Furthermore, because he was starving he lacked energy to see and think.  It wasn’t until he received nourishment of goat’s milk (see page 32 here), nearly dying, that he found the energy to realize the Four Noble Truths.

This young goat needs nourishment.  You do, too.

This young goat needs nourishment. You do, too.

By experiencing both extremes, Sid realized that neither was appropriate for a virtuous life.  For this reason, I think, his enlightenment (his discovery of the truth of virtuous life) necessarily was defined by The Middle Way.  In other words, Buddhist morality is one of moderation while realizing there are luxuries and deprivation in life.  When The Buddha realized this, he found true richness in life

This is not so different from the Stoic view that I previously addressed in my last post.  The Middle Way is the Stoic Way as well.

To me, it makes a lot of sense, and it has worked for many years in my journey.  As always…

““Do Not Seek To Follow In The Footsteps Of The Wise. Seek What They Sought.”–Basho

 

When will you be happy? You decide!

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I have read several studies that have stated that once you are beyond a certain level of subsistence, more wealth does not bring you more happiness (see here, here, and here).  If you are reading this, you are probably one of those people with enough to live on.  So the question is what are you after?  Certainly not power; that too, is ephemeral and it just brings more desire.

Happiness…that is what you are after.  How do you obtain it? The third article above states that we tend to have a “set point” of happiness, regardless of our life condition.  This may very well be true.

Happiness from virtue?

Happiness from virtue?

As I have mentioned many times, I think our happiness is derived from our perspective on how things really are.  Our perspective can be widened by understanding the three Stoic concepts of control, fate, and impermanence.  Understanding these concepts takes work.  That’s the theme of my entry today, that you can read my interpretation of the Stoic philosophy, you can reach the end and say, “Ah-hah!” and you are not even close to finding happiness through virtue.  This pursuit has to be done through constant tending of your mind.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could throw some seeds down, and a garden would just grow itself?  Unfortunately, this is not the case.  We have to nurture those seeds constantly, water them, feed them with fertilizer, look out for pests, pull the weeds, and THEN we have to know when is the right time to harvest.  Wow!  All that for a garden!

Seems happy.  I wonder if he has a garden?

Seems happy. I wonder if he has a garden?

So imagine how much work it takes to nurture your own virtue.  I maintain that this endeavor is far more tedious than growing a garden.  Maybe a simple meditation based on a Stoic viewpoint, performed daily or whenever needed, could help.  Maybe right before bed and also before you place your feet on the floor when you wake up, you can simply remind yourself:

  • Control – There will be much I cannot control, but I can control my attitude
  • Fate – Many things will happen to me, much will be unexpected
  • Impermanence – Someday I will be gone, someday it will all be gone
  • So (Telling yourself in the day):  Live as if today were your last, but serve as best you know how, and be mindful and pleasant
  • So (Telling yourself before bed):  Sleep deeply, leave it behind for now.  If you awake tomorrow, you will be ready.

It’s just a suggestion.  Maybe you can make your own Stoic Meditation or your own Creed.