After Signing the Acceptance Contract, What Next?

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Chris

Now that I’ve made and accepted my Acceptance Contract, I am free to move on to answering other questions. I can now tackle things that are more in my control:

Why don’t more people read my blog?
Can my message help others?
How can I reach a bigger audience?
Am I focusing on the things in my life that are important?
What do people need?
Can I provide that to them?
If not, what can I provide?

Probably the biggest of these questions is, “Am I focusing on the things in my life that are important?” Well, answering this question requires me to know what is important. To know what is important, I need to answer whether I am living a life of virtue? If I am not, then why not?

What should I focus on?

What leads to a life of virtue? Honesty? Industry? Love? Sharing? These are all things to be reflected on in my meditation. I have asked these questions, and I have found that seven meditation anchors lead me to acting with virtue. They allow me to live my life with a backdrop of ocean so that whatever figurative poison drops into my life is diluted (see Passionate Equanimity).

These seven will be revealed in turn…

A Little Knowledge? (Moderation Part 7)

Posted on October 24, 2012 by Chris

Part 7 in the Moderation Series. To See Part 1, click here.

It seems like the more we know, the more we don’t know. I have lived my life never tiring of learning more. I have an insatiable appetite for knowledge, and I don’t think I’ve ever lost it.

I think one of the greatest things my parents ever did for me was purchase a set of World Book Encyclopedias. I would flip through those things devouring knowledge. Facts, figures, history, I wanted to know more and more. It was one of the ways I could explore my world around me. Searching for knowledge is inherently human, I think. However, I also think I may be obsessive about it. I am addicted to the pursuit of knowledge.

My obsession with knowledge was fueled by these.

In comes the internet circa 1993ish. What a treasure-trove of information, and it never ends! Never, never, never, never ends. Never! Sometime, about 10 years ago, I realized that I had literally burned out, completely overdosed on all the information the internet had to offer. I spent life saying “Let’s find out,” to unknown answers. With the internet, I had Yahoo, Lycos, and Google to answer all my questions. It overwhelmed me. At some point, I realized I had to slow down. I couldn’t possibly know everything.

My Desk: Sometimes I wonder if I still have “too much” information.

So is there such thing as too much knowledge? Well, I think the answer lies in comparing knowledge with wisdom. By definition, knowledge is the state of knowing something, particularly a fact. Wisdom, on the other hand, is the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting. So, there is a lot of information out there, and it is my job to have the wisdom to tell what parts of that knowledge are useful, true, or correct.

In essence, I have to filter the knowledge I receive to gain wisdom. Wisdom, then, is the moderation of knowledge. You might argue, aha, then you don’t need to moderate your wisdom! I would tend to agree. Wisdom, in and of itself, is a moderating word. To say we only need wisdom in moderation, is like saying we only need moderation in moderation.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

“…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference…” from the Serenity Prayer attributed to Reinhold Neibuhr

My Life as Training

Posted on October 21, 2012 by Chris

“Nature does not permit good men to be harmed by what is good. Virtue is the
bond between good men and the Gods. The good man is given trials so as to
harden himself”–Seneca

Training. Invented by the Greeks?

When I read this quote, I thought to myself: life is a training ground for you to get better. All the trials and challenges that are sent to me are for me to train to make me better. They are all sent here for me to test my mettle. They are sent to build my virtue.

I differ with Seneca just a little. I don’t think Nature is scheming to make me better. In fact, I have some trouble envisioning Nature as caring one way or another about my virtue. While I do think that there are things in this universe that I can’t explain, I don’t spend much time trying to figure out if God, the gods, or the universe has a plan for me, nor do I find it necessary to ask for the Divine to look out for me. If the fates have a plan for me, then my asking for this or that will not change that plan. As an added bonus to this strategy, I figure I am not wasting my time or that of the cosmos with my requests. How’s that for faith? In the end, I’m not even sure there is a plan for me or anyone else for that matter. This is convenient, because I don’t really care about whether there is a plan or not. I am agnostic to the BIG plan for me.

Gerd Kanter continues the Greek training legacy.

So, my job is not to decide whether there is or is not a BIG plan for me. My job is to “act in the play” that I am a character in (see Epictetus/click here). There are some who think that their God will not give them anything they can’t handle. I really don’t think that way. All I do is live my life one challenge at a time. Also, I need to prepare myself through my philosophy to be a man of virtue no matter what scenes unfold in my “play.”

Life is training…for more life. Life is training to become a man of virtue.

*Photo of Gerd Kanter World Athletics Championships 2007 in Osaka by Eckhard Pecher*

Love in Moderation?

Posted on October 19, 2012 by Chris

“But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” New American Standard Bible 1 Corinthians 13:13

Love is a very difficult emotion to describe. It is a conglomeration of excitement, happiness, contentment, dedication, and commitment. There are many different types of love. There is brotherly/family love (as in Philia), romantic love (as in Eros), and spiritual or godly love (as in Agape). In every case, there is little doubt that we should have as much love for our fellow human being as we can manage.

Philadelphia – The City of Philia…uhh Brotherly Love

So should we have love in moderation? Is there anything negative about the impact of love in our lives? There are some things that I think we should reflect on about love. I can think of two cautions in particular about love.

The first caution can be found when we reflect on that much-praised “unconditional” love. I don’t know how else to say this, but unconditional love is just plain stupid. All love comes with conditions, and rightly so. Look, if your son murders your daughter, your wife betrays you with an affair, or your mother fails to accept your new wife, and you say “I still love them no matter what,” that’s not love, that’s a desire for that person to be something that they are not. In essence, you are “in love” with a fantasy of how you want things to be. Yes, you want the situation (and the beloved) to be the way they used to be, or to be something they are not…which is someone who deserves your unconditional love. I am a strong believer that true love requires great effort and plenty of commitment, not to mention forgiveness. However, love cannot be unconditional. Some things like my extreme examples above, require a reevaluation of whether an individual merits our love at all. A series of smaller events, may also require an evaluation of what conditions I will put on my love for others.

The second caution about love is our expectation of receiving it. If we are not paying attention to life as it is, we can begin to feel that because we deserve love, we should receive it. Nothing can guarantee that anyone will love me, not who I am, what I do, nor how I feel about another. I do crave live, but receiving love is largely out of my control. A life of service, dedication, honesty, and loving others tends to increase the love we receive, but this is not guaranteed. It is this expectation of return “in kind” that can lead me to unhappiness.

As usual, my point is not to dwell on the negative, but rather for me to be aware of things as they are. I certainly shouldn’t live my life giving up on love, but if I am aware of the reality, then I can view love rationally. When I am loved, I can appreciate it. When I give love, I can do so knowing the guaranteed consequence which, as discussed, is NOTHING…but for knowing that I have loved well.

So, when we think rationally about love, we do lose some of that euphoria of that fantasy type of love. There is a cost, I guess, to thinking too much. On the other hand, there is a payoff as well. When we pursue the good of virtue and excellence, it is necessary to see truth. To be virtuous, it is more important to unearth truth than it is to live with a soothing lie. In the end, a soothing lie will give way to an unsettling truth. When I already know the unsettling truth, I am free to love and be loved in an authentic way, rather than a make-believe one.

So, yes I moderate my love…a Stoic can do no different.

(Philadelphia panorama by Durrock Knox September 9th 2012 through creative commons)

Living in Moderation (LIM) Part 4 – The 3 “Knows”

Posted on October 17, 2012 by Chris

So, to have tranquility, I need to be aware of three things about the “indifferents” of my life:

Know what they are
Know that they are impermanent
Know that pursuit of them will not bring me happiness

So, let’s figure out #1. OK, so what are the “indifferents?” For me, here are some easy ones:

Wealth
Status/Reputation
Health
Survival or mere life
Physical Appearance
Popularity
Talent/Ability

Joe Theismann: had lots of talent…then he suffered a career ending injury.
CLICK PHOTO to see the top 25 Career Ending Injuries

I’m sure there are many more I can add to this list. All of these things listed are nice to have. However, every single one of them is largely out of my control and have no guarantee of being around tomorrow. I can appreciate them when I have them, and certainly can maintain them as best I can, but I shouldn’t obsess over them.

Right?