I changed my path. It took me over 10 years. There are many reasons I did this, many reasons it took so long as well. I have a list of reasons that I started about 10 years ago. The list grew and solidified over time.
Today, though, I wanted to share two of the reasons taken from my list: More time to just “be” and “more time with my family.” Continue reading
I was planning to visit my son at college. He knew I was going to see him Thursday. My wife had sent him a text on Monday, telling him that we would be making the 3-hour drive to have lunch with him. He responded with his typical concise “ok.” We were very busy until Wednesday night, but my wife sent a text around 6 pm, “We are coming for lunch tomorrow.” He did not respond. No big deal, this is typical of my atypical son who does not check texts very often, and seems to reply even less. At 10:30 pm the night before our trip, I sent a text to him…no response. Again, this is typical, he was probably working and couldn’t check it. As we departed for his college Thursday morning, I sent a new text, “We are coming for lunch today.” I did not receive a reply. Continue reading
(Note: This is a foreshadowing of my next post…stay tuned.)
From Epictetus Discourses Book 3, Chapter 8:
As we train ourselves to deal with sophistical questions, so we ought to train ourselves day by day to deal with impressions: for these too propound questions to us.
Continue reading
So, inevitably you must ask, “if I am not doing what I love then do I need to change it?” Should I just accept my fate, and stoically perform my duty? The short answer is “yes and no.” Take your career for example. Sometimes you are not in a position to immediately change it, your livelihood. There are externals that you have to consider like basic income, moving, family, children in school, etc. However, if you are not in a career that is healthy, wholesome, and completely virtuous (consistent with nature), eventually you must change it so you can “do what you love.” You can make yourself accept a career that is not what you love, you can love doing it by convincing yourself it is your fate, but… Eventually, you must find a career consistent with your virtue and one that at its very heart you can say, “I am glad I am doing this.” Continue reading
If you know something is right, if you know that acting a certain way, or even feeling a certain way is the way to maintain your tranquility, then why don’t you do it?
I will get to the point: It is through your will that you can maintain your tranquility. To act according to your philosophy during the most trying of times requires great effort, but to be a person of virtue you must do this. You must, through sheer mental exertion, act how you know you should act!
Here on the site, I write about a philosophical world view that includes being aware of what you can and cannot control, that fate largely determines our future, and that everything is impermanent. You may agree with this view in its entirety or you may disagree with parts or even all of it. Regardless of your opinion on the matter, I do think that living a life of tranquility requires two major steps:
Because it may be where most of us philosophers fail, I want to address that second part today. Assuming you have established some semblance of what is the way to live, then what does it take to actually live according to what you know to be virtuous? Let’s break this down a little. Let’s just take one small example.
In my philosophy, I know that I cannot control the actions of those around me. Occasionally, I am confronted by someone who is a complete jackass.
Picture of a jackass
I don’t mean that they are being a jackass today, but I mean a person who, by the sum of their actions, is a jackass (see definition here). Assuming that I must deal with this person, at least for a time, what do I do? First, I must determine (a) how I act with this person? For my own tranquility though, I must establish (b) how I feel about and because of this person?
(a) I do not return their rudeness, attitude, and demeanor in kind. Some of us may be tempted to do this, but most of us find this step fairly easy to complete, although it does cause us stress. In any case, this is easier than the next part of my reaction to this jackass, and that leads to…
(b) I do not let their action affect my emotion, viewpoint and general attitude of the world around me. This, I think, is the tough part. It is by sheer force of will, by having complete awareness and exerting effort that I execute this very important step and maintain my tranquility and my virtue. In many cases, I may need to maintain my interaction (e.g., a family member, an important client, my boss), so I may need use my mental will constantly. In many cases, you may have the option to discontinue the interaction, and I do not discourage this if you have the option (for example, find a new job, look for new clients, etc.). In any case, you must first decide whether a continued interaction is important to you; then regardless of what you decide, you maintain your tranquility through your own effort.
Sheer Force!
The bottom line here is that tranquility is yours to control, and this requires effort of will. Your philosophy is there for you to use it in the toughest of times, and when these challenges arise you will be required to act according to what you know to be true: that your virtue is maintained by you regardless of external influence.
To act according to what you know to be best is not always easy, but you must do so, no?