Epictetus | The Heroic Stoic

I recently talked about The Buddha, and how his life started as one of riches and comfort. I also mentioned that perhaps this state of life positioned him to begin his journey toward enlightenment. In short (very short), his life of riches did not mean eternal happiness, and in fact may have made him more attuned to dissatisfaction in life.

Epictetus with his cane

On the other hand, Epictetus, one of our Stoics, came from the opposite “side of the tracks.” He was born around AD 55 as a roman slave, well actually he was born in a Greek-speaking region of the Roman empire. He was lame in one leg from childhood. In some stories, this bad leg was the result of a beating of his slavemaster, although it could have been a rheumatic (arthritis) condition he inherited. Either way, it was a physical impediment throughout his life. Early in life, still a child by most measures, he came to Rome as a slave of a freed slave named Epaphroditus. Epaphroditus allowed Epictetus to study under another famous Stoic, Musonius Rufus, where certainly much of his philosophy was formed. In his teens, he was eventually freed from slavery. When he was 34, he (and many other philosophers) was banished from Rome by the Emperor Domitian. Let’s not gloss over this; think about what it would be like for the government to come to your house and say, “We don’t like what you do for a living, now you must leave the country, because you are a threat.” This is is what this would be like in modern times. Really, really imagine this (hopefully you only have to imagine this, and have never actually experienced this) and how difficult this would be. You would have to either pay for movement of some/all of your possessions and/or leave some/all of your possessions behind. In any case, he did leave and he continued to teach philosophy in Western Greece (Nicopolis) until his death at about 80. He lived a solitary and simple life, with very few possessions. He either married very late in his life or not at all (depending on the account). Also in his late life, he adopted a child whose parents were unable to provide for it.

Nicopolis on the Western Coast

It may very well have been his experience as both a slave and with physical handicap that convinced him that life is a struggle that is given to us as a gift for our improvement. Furthermore, our attachment to controlling that which we cannot control causes us even more grief. Suffering and the relief of suffering–this sounds a lot like the Buddha. Read this excerpt below and try and distinguish this from Buddhism (Although there are differences in style and degree, I have a difficult time):

On suffering: “Difficulties are what show men’s character. Therefore when a difficult crisis meets you, remember that you are as the raw youth with whom God the trainer is wrestling…That you may win at Olympia: and that cannot be done without sweating for it.” –Discourses Book 1 Chapter 1

On attachment: “But now when it is in our power to look after one thing, and to attach ourselves to it, we prefer to look after many things, and to be bound to many things, to the body and to property, and to brother and to friend, and to child and to slave. Since, then, we are bound to many things, we are depressed by them and dragged down. For this reason, when the weather is not fit for sailing, we sit down and torment ourselves, and continually look out to see what wind is blowing. “It is north.” What is that to us? “When will the west wind blow?” When it shall choose, my good man, or when it shall please Aeolus; for God has not made you the manager of the winds, but Aeolus. What then? We must make the best use that we can of the things which are in our power, and use the rest according to their nature. What is their nature then? As God may please.” –Discourses Book 1 Chapter 24

Epictetus’ teaching cuts to the heart of living the Heroic Stoic way. Always in mind, should be the source of suffering and its relief by our non-attachment. Always in mind are how most things are out of our control. Much of our life is destined by fate, and all of it is impermanent.

“Never say of anything, ‘I have lost it’; but, ‘I have returned it.’ Is your child dead? It is returned. Is your wife dead? She is returned. Is your estate taken away? Well, and is not that likewise? ‘But he who took it away is a bad man.’ What difference is it to you who the giver assigns to take it back? While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don’t view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel.” –Epictetus

One cannot help but read the headlines and hear of tragic events all around us. Most recently, in the U.S. State of Connecticut, a very unstable young man of 20 chose to randomly shoot anyone he could in an elementary school. He cared not that his victims were young and innocent, or who they were. In the end, 20 young children and 8 adults were killed in a matter of minutes, including the shooter. 28 sentient beings have been “returned.” For 20 of them, their time here was a short one.

Unfortunately, what happened in Connecticut is not unique. While I would be hesitant to say that mass murder is a common occurrence, we would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge that its existence parallels that of all of humanity’s time on earth. It is difficult to understand for the large majority of peace-loving and life-respecting individuals, why such things happen. Some mass-murderers are evil, others are delusional. Still others, like Genghis Khan below (AD 1162-1227), even think they are justified by some purpose, but for the victims the result is the same.

Ghengis Kahn: figures estimate he killed up to 40 million. Public Domain photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg

Genghis Khan: figures estimate he killed up to 40 million. (Public Domain photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg)

Because such things do happen, and probably always will, I must acknowledge this: It can happen. It can happen to you, your children, or your spouse. It can happen today. It may happen 15 seconds from now.

Which brings me to one (although there could be many others) very important point about what we can learn from such an event: The existence of all is temporary. The existence of your children, your parents, friends, spouse, and you. All temporary! Acknowledging this should not be depressing. Rather, it should motivate you to cherish every moment with them. Appreciate them now, not when they are gone.

But to drive home this point, I will share an observation I had about what I saw on social media yesterday about the Connecticut shootings. Over and over, I read things like, “I am going to hug my little ones a little tighter tonight,” “my child had a drill about this very thing at school, it made me cry,” or “With everything that happened today, we are having a family night. It’s all I could think about as the day progressed. I just want my kids close.” Furthermore, I personally couldn’t help but picture my own grief had I lost my child in such a tragedy. I think we all tend to do this. We project a tragedy into our own life. This is not a bad thing; it is how we empathize with others. Should we really need a reminder, though?

You do not expect that this will be the last time you see your child.

Our goal then, is to understand that those we love in our lives are not ours. Even our own lives, in the end, are not ours. Every moment we spend is on loan, and the lease will expire at some point. We don’t know when, where or how, but it will end for all. This existence is borrowed. The sage of virtue knows this at all times…few of us are sages, but that is what we strive for. When I acknowledge the impermanence of all, then I relish every moment with those I love, and indeed I carefully examine how I spend my own time.

So, hug your loved ones a little tighter EVERY night, and try not to be reminded only when tragedy jolts you into awareness. That is the philosopher’s goal.