“So the question is not: How can we obtain love and understanding? The question is whether we have the capacity of generating love and understanding ourselves…true love is like that too. Loving one person is really an opportunity to learn to love all people. If you have the capacity to love and to understand, you can do that now, you don’t have to wait. When we succeed in this, our worry and fear go away, and we feel wonderful right away.” –Thich Nhat Hahn Answers from the Heart
“Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind.” –Kansas
“We are the champions my friend, and we’ll keep on fighting til the end!” –Queen
Fate and impermanence are powerful concepts. I’ve dwelled upon them in my previous posts…just about all of them, in fact. You can find examples of this here, here, and here. If I am destined for failure, doomed to death, and my world will eventually crumble before me, what’s the point? Should I just throw in the towel? If we are all destined for misery, then why should I even try?
Should I just give up?
No, no, no! That is not my point! It is true that much struggle, much strife will befall us. It is also true that your existence, as well as that of all around you will be gone in no time. Face it, in about 100 years it will all be new people. 100 years…that’s a blink of an eye in the continuum of the 13.7 billion (or so) the universe has existed. For comparison, think of the age of the universe as a year. If you live to be 100 years, your life span would be less than second in that year (actually, about 0.23 seconds). So if our time is so short, then what does that mean? What is it you want to do with those 100 years…with that blink of your existence? How can I be a hero? Here are some suggestions:
13.7 Billion Years!
Master Brain Surgery!
It may take years, it may take much of your time, but find something you love and master it! It will make you proud, it will be worth it.
Listen!
You will notice more if you really pay attention. Remember, you only have 100 years so use every moment wisely.
No need to try them all, although you could in a 100 years, but maybe just try a few. So, even though fate will have its way with you, you can take it on with tenacity. You can be a hero if you put yourself to it.
…and you can be proud of it, because YOU made the effort!
If you’ve read any of my entries, you know that an awareness of suffering is key to my own journey of living a virtuous life. Whether it is through Stoicism, Buddhism, Zen, or any other philosophy I have taken as my own, I strive to remain cognizant that everywhere people struggle. The nature of our world can be violent; it is all around us.
Much of the time, we can be wrapped up in our own world. My problems, my money, my lifestyle, etc. But all around us there are others with problems. By making yourself aware of these problems, you open your mind to caring about others. As a bonus, awareness that suffering is indeed common to all of humanity puts your own personal strife in perspective. In short, as you view your own problems and struggles, as well as all those around you, you then see them as a constant in all of the human condition.
Suffering everywhere, plenty of room for compassion
However, being aware of suffering is only the beginning. To feel compassion is to care about the sufferer. When I meditate on compassion, I begin to feel the struggles of those around me. Turn on the news, take note of one or two stories of grief. It won’t take long to find them, because the news is full of them. Alternately, you can think of your friends and family and their struggles: sickness, accidents, hunger, poverty, mental illness, loss of job. Do you have sympathy for them? Of course. Do you want to comfort them? Yes. Now you are showing compassion.
Don’t you deserve some compassion, too? Well, absolutely. What about your worst fears, your phobias, your inner struggles? You have them. I know you have them, because everybody does. However, these struggles are yours. Do you deserve compassion? Absolutely!
You can begin with compassion for yourself, as if you were another, then you can start to direct your compassion outward. As you start to feel compassion for others who suffer, you become free from self. As you start to focus outward, you become motivated to act for the sake of others, rather than for your own sake. This is refreshing, and it leads us to virtue.
So let’s meditate on compassion.
As you continue to read this post, please slow down, s-l-o-w–d-o-w-n, breathe in……….then breathe out. Now…close your eyes…notice your breath, inhale, exhale…
…think of all your struggles, and any sadness you may have. Now follow your breath, inhaling and exhaling. Show yourself compassion as if you were another, mentally pat your own back and say, “I understand” to yourself. Show yourself compassion because you deserve it. You may show compassion for yourself as long as you wish in this reflection, and you can take as long as you need until you are ready to show compassion for those around you.
Now, take a person you know closely and mentally give them a long comforting hug. Don’t forget your breath…inhale, exhale. Maintain your “hug,” and tell this suffering person that “I know how you feel” or “I can empathize with your plight.” Close your eyes, and continue to psychically hug them…hold them for a long time, and feel their pain. That’s compassion. You can continually do this over and over. You can start with those close to you, move on to casual acquaintances, then maybe move on to those you don’t know (like someone in the news). Each time you go back and start over with your “mental hug” expand your compassion outward.
Give Somebody a Hug! Anybody!
Possibly, you can broaden your scope. Feel the world around you, as you inhale and exhale. Gently and easily repeat “compassion” over and over. Maybe you have someone who you disagree with, is just plain disagreeable, or someone who is your enemy. Do you think they suffer from some malady? Feel compassion for them and their suffering as you inhale, then as you exhale…”compassion.”
You can continue this as long as you’d like. I hope it helps you with your compassion…and on your quest for virtue.
Am I being virtuous? Am I focusing on what is important? What follows are what I call my Seven Meditation Anchors. During times of relaxation (before bed, with morning coffee, or even when I think I need to relax–e.g. heavy traffic or when family has driven me to the limit). I use these 7 anchors to help me come back to what is important. Sometimes I focus on one of them, other times I meditate on each in turn. I rarely meditate for longer than 15 minutes.
Thanks, Siddhartha!
For those familiar with Zen/Buddhism, four of these, Compassion, Love, Joy, Equanimity will have a vaguely familiar look…the Four Sublime States are a cornerstone of my anchors. They are what I call the spiritual/emotional anchors. They speak to the cerebellum, the medulla, the spiritual/ancestral (limbic and reptillian) brain.
The remaining three, Understanding, Patience, and Persistence, I consider rational anchors. They speak to the cerebrum (Neocortex), or thinking brain. They elicit cause and effect, and help with the “why’s” of what to focus on.
So, here they are with a short description for each. Don’t worry, I will expand upon each in the upcoming days. (Rationals are blue, Spirituals are green)
Note: You may be wondering why these are listed in this particular order. It’s a simple practical decision for me: it’s because in this order, they spell CUPP-JEL, which I can remember easily. None is more important than another, in my opinion (see last paragraph of my credentials here). You might choose to start with the “rationals” and finish with the “spirituals,” or vice versa (that would spell UPPJELC). For all I care, use PLUC-JEP.
