Tag Archives: Buddhism

The Problem with Maslow

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In all of my studies of Maslow (which are limited to brief undergraduate and that for this article), nowhere does anybody speak of the fact that we can CONTROL our desires.  People throw around Maslow’s Hierarchy like humans are just animals, acting instinctively with little control over our minds.

Maslow's Hierarchy

Maslow’s Hierarchy

On the spectrum of things we can control, our desires are one of those things that we have quite a lever on.  This is where a Heroic Stoic can use the tools of philosophy to modify the hierarchy.  For example, if I must have caviar and filet every day, then certainly I have set a high bar for fulfilling my physiological need of food.  What about shelter?  Do I need a 5,000 square foot home or a tent?  These things are for us to decide.  Certainly they are not easy decisions, and they require some judgment.  Many human beings live in simple dwellings with no heat/cooling, while I cannot imagine not having a powered system that controls my indoor environment.

Live here?

Live here?

Or could I?  My awareness of this fact is half the battle, isn’t it?  Could I live without central heating?  Well, first of all I live in a mild climate so I am ahead of the game.   But seriously, could I?  At first, I think it would be difficult, but eventually I can imagine that I would adapt with less clothing in Summer and bundling up in Winter.  Imagining this is therapeutic.  It allows me to see that my life as I know it can change, and it also helps me appreciate the needs I have fulfilled.  In a sense, this awareness allows me to jump up the ladder of needs fulfillment.  It helps me realize that central heating is not physiological but maybe a safety need.  When I don’t need caviar and filet for my food, then I can move on to higher needs.

...or live here?

…or live here?

Then, I can control the higher needs as well using what I know about control, fate, and impermanence.

More on that, later.

On Survival and Happiness (Maslow’s Needs)

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From “The Aviator”:  Mrs. Hepburn says, “We don’t care about money here.”   To which Howard Hughes replies, “That’s because you’ve always had it.  Some of us choose to earn our money.”

Howard Hughes' "Spruce Goose"

Howard Hughes’ “Spruce Goose”

In his 1943 paper, “A Theory of Human Motivation,”  Abraham Maslow released a motivational theory which is now commonly referred to as Maslow’s hierarchy.  In short, Maslow theorized that people fulfill their needs in the following way.

Maslow's_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg

Maslow’s Hierarchy (diagram from Wikipedia)

Before a higher level need is fulfilled, the lower level needs must be met (the lowest needs are physiological, the highest self-actualization).  So, physiological needs are fulfilled before safety needs. which must be fulfilled before love/belonging needs, etc.  There are gray areas and exceptions of course (people can jump to fulfilling “higher” needs before fulfilling lower [maybe I’ll have more on that later]), but this is the general idea by which humans find happiness.  According to the Maslow’s Hierarchy then, it would be difficult to worry about your purpose or meaning in the world if you were plotting how to obtain your next meal.

One could argue then, that it was precisely Siddhartha’s (The Buddha) wealth, safety, and love around him that triggered his dissatisfaction (see his story here).  If he were busy surviving–hunting for food, building shelter, watching out for predators, strategizing when it would be a good time to safely sleep, etc.–he may not have felt the dissatisfaction (Dukkha) of not fulfilling the next level of needs.  Moreover, if he were safe, yet lonely (vis–à–vis love/belonging needs), he may have merely yearned for companionship.   As it turns out, many of his lower level needs were satisfied, so he was on to the next need, probably the self-esteem needs, then on to self-actualization…humans are always grasping, as he himself would later find out.


So looking at “The Aviator” quote above:  in essence, Howard Hughes’ reply to Katherine Hepburn’s mother represents the fact that they were working on different levels of needs.  Both, of course were pursuing happiness but each was pursuing in their own complex way.  In my opinion, Hughes was the wiser one because of his experience.  If Mrs. Hepburn were open to enlightenment, she would have realized that her wealth was not a given, and indeed a luxury that could be gone.  Undoubtedly, each person experienced Dukkha because that is what we do.  If you know how Hughes ended up, you know that he had his suffering, too.  He never did quite escape Samsara.

We are all human, after all.

Sid’s Journey from Riches to Rags to Richness

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Siddhartha Gautama, let’s call him Sid, was disenchanted with his life.  More precisely, Sid was dismayed with the condition of life in general.  You see, Sid was a prince.  He was tended to by many servants whenever he needed them.  He was protected by his father (the king) from seeing the dreary world outside the palace.  Yet, Sid inherently longed to explore outside the walls.  He knew the world that had been manufactured for him was a lie.  Even with all the protection, and all the effort to make his life worry-free, he began to notice suffering.  He knew that truth started by looking at the world as it is, both good and bad.

Living in this palace might be nice, but would it bring happiness?

Living in this palace might be nice, but would it bring happiness?

When he began exploring outside the palace walls, he really started to see grief, suffering, and sickness.  If he had waited long enough he would have seen even more suffering within the palace walls.  Servants would have been missing. Why?  From death, sickness, unhappiness with their job?  His father would have eventually died or become sick.  Others he loved could have been cross for no apparent reason.  Sid might have taken a false step on a set of stairs, and he could have fallen and broken his back.  The fact that the story of Sid, who would become the Buddha, implies that he had to leave the palace to find real suffering makes me believe there is some amount of fairy tale to it.  The departure from the palace is required as an allegory or parable to symbolize that we have to “see” everything to understand.  Nonetheless, the story makes the point that no amount of veneer on life can cover up the fact that it is “nasty, brutish, and short” (Thanks to Hobbes).

I have gone through Sid’s story before.  You can read it here.  He went out to try and find the truth, to be enlightened.  At first, he came to the conclusion that since he was not happy with all his riches, he should renunciate luxuries to find true happiness.  He became an ascetic, and he lived on virtually nothing.  But I think he realized that living on barely anything is barely living.   Furthermore, because he was starving he lacked energy to see and think.  It wasn’t until he received nourishment of goat’s milk (see page 32 here), nearly dying, that he found the energy to realize the Four Noble Truths.

This young goat needs nourishment. You do, too.

This young goat needs nourishment. You do, too.

By experiencing both extremes, Sid realized that neither was appropriate for a virtuous life.  For this reason, I think, his enlightenment (his discovery of the truth of virtuous life) necessarily was defined by The Middle Way.  In other words, Buddhist morality is one of moderation while realizing there are luxuries and deprivation in life.  When The Buddha realized this, he found true richness in life

This is not so different from the Stoic view that I previously addressed in my last post.  The Middle Way is the Stoic Way as well.

To me, it makes a lot of sense, and it has worked for many years in my journey.  As always…

““Do Not Seek To Follow In The Footsteps Of The Wise. Seek What They Sought.”–Basho

 

Duality: Either/Or vs. The Spectrum

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WARNING:  This post will take you down a very deep rabbit hole if you let it…good luck.

The duality of everything is going to drive me insane, I think.  I yearn for independence and yet need thousands around me to survive.  I want eternal happiness, yet feel down or depressed for no reason.  I strive to be a man of virtue, yet notice some of my actions are inconsistent with right versus wrong.

I’ve really been noticing the contradiction all around me.  It really is everywhere.  It is everywhere and unavoidable.  AND, like I said, my noticing it lately has been driving me crazy.  It is like watching an existential tennis match, when you hate tennis!

  • happy/sad
  • life/death
  • practical/idealistic
  • sleep/awake
  • materialistic/spiritual
  • money is everything/money is nothing
  • individuality/non-self
  • meaning/emptiness
  • purpose/futility
  • good/evil
  • knowledge/ignorance

I think the insanity begins when you start thinking of all these “opposites” as distinct either/or poles.  Either life has purpose or it is futile, either I am happy or I am sad, etc.  As soon as you start noticing these things, they pop up all around you, they come at you from everywhere…like that tennis match, or maybe it’s like two opposing walls closing inward on you with ever greater compression (think of the Star Wars trash compactor scene).  My personal frustration begins when I try to figure it out.  What does it all mean?  Is their purpose in life or is it futile?  Are we inherently evil or good?  Should I reach out to change my world or recede into myself?  Should I be happy with what I have, or should I strive for more?

So, this is where I try to break the paradigm, changing that either/or view to one of seeing suchness, one that sees that there is no either/or.  What is the answer to those questions I posed above?  When I reflect, meditate and breathe, I see the answer is yes and no, all at once.  It might be helpful to combine the answer to “yes&no.”   Is life meaningless? yes&no. Does life have purpose?  yes&no.  Should I strive to attain more wealth, or should I be happy with what I have? yes&no.  A “Yes&No” view acknowledges that there is a spectrum of non-answers rather than either/or.  It also acknowledges that I may be wrong about my own view, that clinging to an answer I KNOW is true, may not be correct.  This view is something you can study about, but it must be experienced to truly attain it.

Are there absolutes or not?  We want there to be, don’t we?  We are comfortable when we cling to our “answers.”  From a practical standpoint, we decide yes or no all the time.  Should I steal this candy bar? No.  Is that the right thing to do? Yes.  However, when it comes to our place in all of existence, these answers are approximations for truth.  What if we ask even more questions about our candy bar problem?  Who is selling the candy bar?  What are they doing with the profits?  What is in the candy bar?  Is it hurting people?  Isn’t that their choice?  Is my neighbor starving?  Am I starving?

My point here is not to convince myself that stealing a candy bar might be the right thing to do (although, I suppose given the right conditions, it might).  My point is to illustrate that even with the simplest of either/or questions, there is a spectrum that goes unnoticed by us.  We create the either/or world to try and simplify our existence, but it is not reality.  If too much of this reality seeps through into our view without the right context, it can drive us mad.

That may very well be where the Buddhist concept of right view comes in.  To see reality and thrive, we must have context; a large sea of understanding that helps us see where we fit.  When I have a right view, I can see that there is a Middle Way.  I know that there are guides to right and wrong, but I understand that these guides are dependent on context, and that all of existence is very complicated.

If I point to the grain of sand, I would be both right and wrong.

If I try to point to the grain of sand, I would be both right and wrong.

What I think I am trying to emphasize is that our understanding is almost always incomplete.  The appearance of opposites is an illusion.  We must always (yes, I said always) make our decisions with incomplete information.  We do not know everything about anything, and we know very little about most things.  So, when we make our life decisions we can take heart in the fact that we are doing the best we can with the given information.  It seems that it is best when we avoid the opposite poles and favor the middle way.

…and hopefully avoid insanity.

“…what makes [the noble truths] noble truths is precisely that they are actual, undeviating, invariable (tatha, avitatha, anannatha). It is the failure to face the actuality of these truths that has caused us to wander for so long through the long course of samsara. It is by penetrating these truths exactly as they are that one can reach the true consummation of the spiritual quest: making an end to suffering.”

Taken from “Dhamma and Non-duality”, by Bhikkhu Bodhi. Access to Insight, 4 April 2011, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bodhi/bps-essay_27.html . Retrieved on 2 January 2013.

 

My Meditation on Dukkha (…a special kind of “dissatisfaction”)

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I am about to turn 43.  Looking at that age written down, it looks like an old age.  It’s not elderly, but it’s old.  I always wanted to be 40.  It’s the age where you’re still young enough to do things, most people have their health, but very few consider you a “kid.”  You get respect at 40, while the degeneration process of the body and mind has not quite kicked in.  40 was my goal age.

The problem is that you don’t just get to stop at 40.  Honestly, the 3 years since I turned 40 have flown by like an instant.  The tick-tick-tick of time keeps moving.  In many ways, my life is about like I expected it to be now.  In other ways, it is completely off.  I thought there would be satisfaction in being in my 40’s.  Instead, there is a background of disappointment.  The millions that weren’t made (or at least 10’s of thousands) despite the hard work, the places I haven’t visited, the children who are leaving to live their own lives….I want them to be little again.  Where did the time go?  In short, just like happens to many of us who keep saying “if only i were XXX, then I’ll be happy” or “if only had, XXX then I will slow down,” and then we finally get there, I am on to the next bit of grasping for more.  We never really get there when we grasp for more…Dukkha.  Dukkha is that dissatisfaction that you will always feel when you grasp at this reality, when you expect fulfillment from things of this world.  You can never gain permanent satisfaction in this reality.

This background of dissatisfaction, I’ve felt this way before.  It is the type of feeling that rushes in and makes me ask, “Is this all there is?”  I started getting these feelings in my mid-20s; I think it was when the testosterone of teenage life wore off.  In my 20’s, I had alcohol that confused the matter…lots of alcohol.  All the while, I searched for truth.  I found the teachings of the Buddha, and read about Dukkha.  Buddhism recommended a drug-free existence.  When I was 31, I decided that I could see things more clearly without alcohol.  So, I stopped drinking it.

Without alcohol, I could see more clearly.

Without alcohol, I could see more clearly.

It was at that point that understanding came much faster.  My motivation was much better, and my energy returned.  I could see things clearer.  Success in life began to accelerate; and I kept learning.

But that feeling kept returning, more powerful each time.  As I tried to anchor myself in this world, it became less rational.  Empty.  There is no meaning in this perceived reality.  It is emptiness.

As I age, it can be gut-wrenching.  The dissatisfaction!  Dukkha.  I think as I age, the impermanence of existence is more obvious.  I used to play the “I wonder what I’ll be doing in ten years” game.  I don’t like to play that game anymore…53 is not an age I am in a rush to attain, nor do I wish for my children to each be 10 years older, and certainly not my parents.  I can accept it, but I can wait for it…patiently.  No hurry to speed through 10 years.

Dukkha indeed.   Grasping at this life as if it were going to last forever.   All that I see around me will be gone one day.  All that I feel, all that I’ve worked for will be gone.  All that I intend to work for in the next 10, 20, 30 years will eventually be gone.  In 30 years I will be 73…if I make it to that age.

One of my goals...aging gracefully.

One of my goals…aging gracefully. (www.loosha.nl – ginny@loosha.nl)

When I slow down, breathe, and enjoy my existence now.  When I read, write, reflect and feel, when I am present in the moment, the dissatisfaction fades.  Writing, for me, is my meditation, and it is one of those times I feel most alive.  It is my craft and it completes me.  I think we all have one or more of those things we do that bring us back to the present moment.

When we are present in the moment, we are not grasping, and we find the end of dissatisfaction, and if we are sages we can escape Dukkha.