Category Archives: Philosophy

On Tragedy, Death and Evil…a Stoic’s View

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“Never say of anything, ‘I have lost it’; but, ‘I have returned it.’ Is your child dead? It is returned. Is your wife dead? She is returned. Is your estate taken away? Well, and is not that likewise? ‘But he who took it away is a bad man.’ What difference is it to you who the giver assigns to take it back? While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don’t view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel.” –Epictetus

One cannot help but read the headlines and hear of tragic events all around us.  Most recently, in the U.S. State of Connecticut, a very unstable young man of 20 chose to randomly shoot anyone he could in an elementary school.  He cared not that his victims were young and innocent, or who they were.  In the end, 20 young children and 8 adults were killed in a matter of minutes, including the shooter.  28 sentient beings have been “returned.”  For 20 of them, their time here was a short one.

Unfortunately, what happened in Connecticut is not unique.  While I would be hesitant to say that mass murder is a common occurrence, we would be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge that its existence parallels that of all of humanity’s time on earth.  It is difficult to understand for the large majority of peace-loving and life-respecting individuals, why such things happen.  Some mass-murderers are evil, others are delusional.  Still others, like Genghis Khan below (AD 1162-1227), even think they are justified by some purpose, but for the victims the result is the same.

Ghengis Kahn: figures estimate he killed up to 40 million. Public Domain photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg

Genghis Khan: figures estimate he killed up to 40 million. (Public Domain photo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg)

Because such things do happen, and probably always will, I must acknowledge this:  It can happen.  It can happen to you, your children, or your spouse.  It can happen today.  It may happen 15 seconds from now.

Which brings me to one (although there could be many others) very important point about what we can learn from such an event:  The existence of all is temporary.  The existence of your children, your parents, friends, spouse, and you.  All temporary!  Acknowledging this should not be depressing.  Rather, it should motivate you to cherish every moment with them.  Appreciate them now, not when they are gone.

But to drive home this point, I will share an observation I had about what I saw on social media yesterday about the Connecticut shootings.  Over and over, I read things like, “I am going to hug my little ones a little tighter tonight,” “my child had a drill about this very thing at school, it made me cry,” or “With everything that happened today, we are having a family night. It’s all I could think about as the day progressed. I just want my kids close.”  Furthermore, I personally couldn’t help but picture my own grief had I lost my child in such a tragedy.  I think we all tend to do this.  We project a tragedy into our own life.  This is not a bad thing; it is how we empathize with others.  Should we really need a reminder, though?

You do not expect that this will be the last time you see your child.

You do not expect that this will be the last time you see your child.

Our goal then, is to understand that those we love in our lives are not ours.  Even our own lives, in the end, are not ours.  Every moment we spend is on loan, and the lease will expire at some point.  We don’t know when, where or how, but it will end for all.  This existence is borrowed.  The sage of virtue knows this at all times…few of us are sages, but that is what we strive for.  When I acknowledge the impermanence of all, then I relish every moment with those I love, and indeed I carefully examine how I spend my own time.

So, hug your loved ones a little tighter EVERY night, and try not to be reminded only when tragedy jolts you into awareness.  That is the philosopher’s goal.

I am a Failure! What Now?

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“0h Crito, if it thus pleases the gods, thus let it be. Anytus and Melitus may kill me indeed, but hurt me they cannot.” –Plato’s Crito

For my job, I am required to pass an evaluation.  I recently took one of these evaluations, and although I passed, I did not leave the lasting good impression that I had hoped to leave with my new boss.  As the new guy, this was my chance to break through, to develop a trust from my employer that would be one I could build upon.  That did not happen.  Instead, as one thing led to another I ended up performing badly enough during one portion that I now am “in a hole” that I must dig out of.  It left my evaluator, who just happens to be my boss, with a lack of confidence in my ability.  For all intents and purposes, I failed.

If at first you don't succeed...(photo by Ben Earwicker)

If at first you don’t succeed…(photo by Ben Earwicker)

So what can I, as a Heroic Stoic make of this?  Here are some thoughts.

1. Control

“What does not kill me, makes me stronger.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

Much of what happened on this particular evaluation was out my control:  the situation I was put in, my own fatigue, my lack of situational awareness of how difficult the particular task was, my inexperience on the job, my own talent at performing the job, not to mention the boss’s opinion on the seriousness of the errors I committed.  These are not excuses, this is a simple acknowledgment that there are certain things that I cannot control, when I face a failure.  These are things that test me, that make me better.  They improve my skills.  Clearly, if I have failed then I have reached some kind of limit…at least I know where it is now, and what to do next.

2. Picking Myself Up

“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”–Dale Carnegie

(Photo by Cheryl Empey)

(Photo by Cheryl Empey)

This failure has afforded me the opportunity to reevaluate my own attitude and what I can do better in the future.  For example, in this case I have committed to be better at the tasks I did not do well.  I will commit to never make those errors again.  They may be my weaknesses, so I am set on bringing them up to par.  Often, failures can close doors and force you to go in a different direction…it may lead to a change in focus in your life.  A failure may make you realize that you are not cut out for a particular task, and a new door will open.  It this is you, be on the lookout for it.

3. Worry (That is, Worrying About Fate)

“Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.” –Marcus Aurelius

I could worry about how this will affect my future.  How will this affect my work environment?  Will the boss be looking for my mistakes now?  Will it affect any raises I get?  What happens if I make another mistake?  Could I lose my job?  All these things are possible, but they will largely be controlled by fate.  There is no reason to worry about these things.  What to be concerned about are the things I can control.  I need to do the best job I possibly can.  Will I make mistakes? Sure.  Will I have to prove myself? Most definitely.  All I can do is the best I can do…it is the only way to be virtuous.

4. Pride

“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”   George Burns

It is better to have tried at something I am committed to, than to not have tried at all.  Along the way, there will be failures for things that are worth it.  Failures don’t mean the end, and failures while doing something you love are worth it.  It is my pride in my craft that will motivate me to be better…to be excellent!

Failing at something he loves?

Failing at something he loves?

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” –Michael Jordan

A Little Seneca…On Being Content

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“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”  –Seneca

Do We Need Structure and Regulation?

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I just want to be free.  I want to be free to do whatever I want, wake up when I want, eat what I want.  As long as I do not actively harm those around me, I should be able to choose the path to take without someone else’s interference.  I want to keep the fruits of my labor, and to share or trade with my property as I please, in ways that I find most effective.  I maintain that this is the supreme state for the individual.

We all want this, we all want freedom, no?.  To do whatever we want, whenever we want.  However, is this really freedom?  Will this really bring happiness?  Does living in a world without rules really bring happiness?  Isn’t it better to live in a well-regulated environment?  Well, as is frequently the case, I think the answer is “it depends.”  It depends on the source of a person’s structure, internal or external.  Where does your structure, your regulation come from?  Is it an external or internal source?

With any structure there is great freedom.  A prisoner is relieved of many burdens when his schedule is laid out for him.   0630 Wake Up, 0700 Eat, 0730 shower, 2200 lights out, etc.  No weapons, no cell phones, 1 phone call per day…follow the rules.  You must wear the orange suit…follow the rules.  The prisoner is relieved of the burden of responsibility through a highly structured environment.  His structure was decided by someone else:  the prisoner is not really free, is he?  A child has great freedom because she does not have to worry about what rules are correct, and which rules are not.  All the child has to do is follow the rules, and she is relieved of the burden of judgment.  When she is given a template to follow, and follows it then the results are fairly predictable.  There is freedom in structure, but is this really freedom?

The prisoner is “free” of many burdens, but not really free.

The inevitable question to ask myself is, “Do I want to be a child or a prisoner forever?”  In other words, do I want someone else to make the rules for me, or can I discover my own structure?  Where would I find this structure?  I will propose that you can have freedom from an outside influence and structure…as long as you maintain your philosophy.

Through philosophy, in my case a Stoic one, I can regulate myself.  In essence, I can self-govern.  In regulation, there is freedom.  In self-regulation, there is transcendence, maturity, and happiness…you become a fully virtuous human being.  When you let someone else govern you, it feels safe and secure, but you won’t be happy and you are not truly virtuous.  To be truly happy, you must self-govern.

So, to summarize:

  1. Our ultimate aim is happiness.
  2. Happiness can only be had when we are truly free.
  3. To be truly free, our lives must be governed…we must follow certain rules.
  4. To be truly free, to be a man or woman in full (a nod to Tom Wolfe below), you must govern yourself through your philosophy.

I think that sums it up.  What do you think?

 

How Can I be a Hero? Ten Things to Try Now!

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“Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind.” –Kansas

“We are the champions my friend, and we’ll keep on fighting til the end!” –Queen

Fate and impermanence are powerful concepts.  I’ve dwelled upon them in my previous posts…just about all of them, in fact.  You can find examples of this here, here, and here.  If I am destined for failure, doomed to death, and my world will eventually crumble before me, what’s the point?  Should I just throw in the towel?  If we are all destined for misery, then why should I even try?

Should I just give up?

No, no, no!  That is not my point!  It is true that much struggle, much strife will befall us.  It is also true that your existence, as well as that of all around you will be gone in no time.  Face it, in about 100 years it will all be new people.  100 years…that’s a blink of an eye in the continuum of the 13.7 billion (or so) the universe has existed.  For comparison, think of the age of the universe as a year.  If you live to be 100 years, your life span would be less than second in that year (actually, about 0.23 seconds).  So if our time is so short, then what does that mean?  What is it you want to do with those 100 years…with that blink of your existence?  How can I be a hero?  Here are some suggestions:

13.7 Billion Years!

  1. Make Something – Set yourself to building, or creating.  Build your child a treehouse, build a business.  Create art, music or poetry.  Design a widget to make someone’s life better.  Leave a legacy…for your own sake.
  2. Help Someone – You can volunteer at a soup kitchen, be a crossing guard, find a career where you can help someone…as a doctor, nurse, architect.  Be a banker, but bank with passion and compassion to make a difference in your world (not the ENTIRE world, just yours).
  3. Become a Master– Master the piano, brain surgery, flying a helicopter, fixing motorcycles.

    Master Brain Surgery!

    It may take years, it may take much of your time, but find something you love and master it!  It will make you proud, it will be worth it.

  4. Love Someone – Take a chance on an old relationship gone bad, maybe it is with your mother, father, brother, ex-husband, or an old friend.   Take a chance on telling someone how you feel…someone who might not know it…maybe it’s that huge crush, or a friend who doesn’t know about your romantic feelings.
  5. Love Everybody – You don’t need to trust everybody all the time, but you can give them a chance.  “Respect all, measure each.”  Most of those around you struggle to hold their ground in this wrestling match called life, and many are doing it honestly.  Have compassion for them today.
  6. “Be” with Someone – When you are with someone you love, pay attention to them.  Really listen.  Feel their feelings.  Empathize with them.  When you interact with anyone reallypay attention.  Be with them in the moment.

    Listen!

    You will notice more if you really pay attention.  Remember, you only have 100 years so use every moment wisely.

  7. Appreciate this Day– What kind of day is it?  The warm sun, the cold breeze, the wet rain, the cold snow…appreciate them all.  Take a deep breath…notice how it feels so refreshing as it replenishes your oxygen stores.  If 100 years is .23 seconds, then 1 day is 0.0000063 seconds.  Sands in the hourglass, no?
  8. Teach – Share what you know with someone.  Share your talents, pass on your skills to the next generation, or your current community.
  9. Reach a Goal – Finish that marathon, lose 10 pounds, golf below 80.  Finish college (just make it a degree worth pursuing)!  The pursuit makes life interesting.
  10. Relax – Yes, just take a break once in a while.  Maybe you could use a “staycation.”

No need to try them all, although you could in a 100 years, but maybe just try a few.  So, even though fate will have its way with you, you can take it on with tenacity.  You can be a hero if you put yourself to it.

…and you can be proud of it, because YOU made the effort!