Always ask yourself questions…this is the key to understanding.  “Why questions” seem to work the best.  Why am I feeling so blue today?  Why doesn’t my mate find me attractive any more?  Why is that lady such a pain in the butt all the time?

As humans, we often make snap judgments about what is right and wrong, acceptable and not.  Moreover, we assume many stereotypes and take shortcuts to conclusions about the things we see.

In the morning we assume the sun will “rise.”  Some ancients thought they lived on a flat surface and that the sun was moving through the sky because that is the way it appeared to them.   Eventually, it occurred to someone that we might be inhabiting a round planet and that the Earth’s spinning was the real reason the sun appeared to move in the sky. To start on the road to understanding, someone had to start asking “why” does the sun rise in the East and set in the West, or “why” do ships’ masts remain visible as they sail away while the hulls disappear?  Through why questions like these, eventually people began to understand the reason for the sun’s apparent movement.

What about this one?  Let’s say you are treated rudely by someone in public or maybe even a friend.  You think, “This guy is a real jerk, I ought to punch his face!”  Before you act on this impulse maybe you should ask, “Why is this guy being such a jerk?”  The answer, should you have some magical way to attain one, might surprise you.  What you might not be taking time to understand is that this “guy” was just dumped by the love of his life and his mother is dying of bone cancer.  On top of all of that, he is working for a struggling company that is looking to reduce its workforce.  Since he is one of the newest employees there, he is worried about losing his job.  With all of this going on, does that give him the right to be such an ass (see definition) to you?  Well, have you ever let your issues affect your attitude with others?  It certainly would be nice if he could keep his personal problems from making him so difficult with you, but then again, he is only human.  Are you understanding now?  Do you have some understanding of why he is being such an ass?

Picture of an ass

“Why” questions seem to help us get to the root of things, but who, what, where, when, and how questions are useful also.  Especially when it comes to the results of certain actions we may take.

For example, let’s deal with your urge to punch someone in the face.

• Who will you be hurting if you commit such an act?–the guy, his family, yourself (after you get charged with assault or he hits you back), your family, etc.
• What will such an act accomplish (or not accomplish)?–make him angry, make you look like the “jerk,” not help you in your relations with him, not likely to change his attitude, etc.
• When will you cross paths with him again?–maybe never. tomorrow when he is in a better mood or willing to share some of the reasons for his bad behavior
• Where will you be tomorrow?–going about your business if you walk away, defending yourself in court/a lawsuit if you act on your urge to “punch.”
• How will this act make you feel?–Eventually, like a “jerk.”

So, maybe by taking the time to ask questions of yourself you might have an understanding of what punching someone in the face actually accomplishes.  What is the success rate of a punch in the face accomplishing its intended goal?  What is your goal in committing such an act in the first place?  Is it merely to punish, to make yourself feel better, to correct someone’s behavior?  What are the long term implications?

The key to understanding is to always ask questions.  Always dig further.  Those ancients would not have unlocked the secrets of the universe if someone hadn’t of asked, “why?”

“Why” can’t I play now?

“Why” can’t I go swimming?

I think we will be nearer to a virtuous life if we persistently ask questions like the ones above in as many situations as possible.

Don’t you think so?